The Journey

Setting Me Free

2012-01-24T14:50:00.000-08:00

It was nearly 9 months ago that I shared this message with our church at East Hills. I have been living this story out among those with whom I am in close contact. But I think the time has come to begin sharing the story with a wider audience. If you read this blog regularly (as if I write all that regularly!) this may be a level of authenticity beyond what you are accustomed to, but I believe it's necessary if we are ever going to honestly face our struggles with each other and find grace to change.

Getting Unstuck

Let me take a minute and tell you why this topic is so important to me, and why to a degree I have the ability to bring some unique perspective. Today, I am not simply talking about addictions through the lens of others and their experience. I am not merely telling you about the hope and healing that others have discovered. Today, I have been sharing through the lens of my own addiction, and in the joy of hope and healing that I have found.

Yes, I did say my own addiction. For some of you, it may be incredibly disconcerting to hear your pastor use that word of himself. For others, it may be incredibly freeing to hear that your pastor is a normal human being. But no matter your reaction, the truth remains. I was an addict. In my late teens, I began regularly viewing pornographic magazines. In college, access to the internet took this obsession to a whole new level. I loved Jesus and was even preparing to serve Him in full-time ministry, and yet this battle raged on in my soul. The emotion final bubbled over during those college years into confession to a good friend who became my accountability partner. “Finally,” I thought, “now that it’s in the open I will be free of it.”

But the opposite actually proved to be true. Without sufficient resources to truly change in a deep way, the behavior continued with more shame and guilt than ever before. So began a painful cycle of acting out, hiding behavior and living in shame, until I could bear it no more and confession would occur. This binge-purge cycle of sin continued into my marriage and into ministry. Mistakes would be made, and so more promises and commitments would be given to those who loved me and trusted me. And though some growth occurred and periods of abstinence were observed, the addiction continued.

In this system of sin-management, I convinced myself that I was doing okay. Sure, it cropped up from time to time, but surely I wasn’t as bad as others and I thought that if I just kept believing and praying, sooner or later it would go away. Well, it didn’t. Fourteen months ago, I was still stuck. But at this time, God gave me a tremendous gift- the gift of pain. He opened my eyes to see how my behaviors, that I thought were “minor”, were subtly yet steadily destroying my wife, my ministry and even my faith.

For the first time in my life I realized that sin-management was not enough. Real change- deep change- had to occur, but I didn’t know where to begin. At the time, God brought a precious gift to my wife and I through our district office. At our annual conference, they announced a partnership with Ted Roberts and his ministry, Pure Desire out of Portland. In May of last year, we begin an intense and intentional process with Ted and his wife, Diane, pastors themselves and experts on addiction and recovery. We sat with counselors who loved Jesus, understood the human heart and the human brain, and who knew a path to freedom. We began attending a weekly support and recovery group in Chehalis- me for sexual addicts and my wife for those who had been hurt by them. For the first time I was able to process my life’s journey and find that pornography was not the real problem to be dealt with- it was a symptom of much deeper issues in my life. Because of deep needs I had for finding my value through performance and my identity through success, I became hooked on the false promises of pornography as a way to medicate my pain and disappointment. Making this connection took me from behavior management to deep heart change.

And for the first time in my life, I was able to face the lies of Satan that were operating in the background of my life. Because of this addiction, I had believed myself to be a bad person- someone whom God tolerated because of how hard I worked for Him. Through the patient love and grace of the Roberts and others, I have discovered the awesome and life-changing reality of God’s love. What was once just words has now truly become the cornerstone of my life.

So, I stand before you today as a recovering addict. I know that I must now and forever be on my guard against sliding back in this direction, BUT I am healthier than I have ever been. Our marriage is stronger than it has ever been. And I am a better pastor than I have ever been- not because of growth in skill, but because of change of heart. I no longer have to serve God to find his approval and love; I am finally free to serve Him, and you, because He already loves and approves of me.

What I am confident of, as Paul tells us in Romans 8, is that God is at work in this situation for His good and for His glory. What has happened in my life and in our marriage is not for me alone, but it is also for you. The freedom I have found is no credit to me: it is because someone who knew the way showed it to me and walked the path with me in order help me truly find Christ and his power to set us free.

-------

Over the last 9 months, a group of men at EHA has walked this journey with me, discovering freedom on their own journey. It has been such an awesome privilege to watch others move from places of isolation, secrecy and shame to a place of hope, health and healing.

Our country, I believe, is entering into an era where young men will be over-run by their sexuality like a freight train before they even know what's going on. Porn is so main-stream that it is almost unavoidable. My hope and my prayer is that God can use me, our church, and others like us around the country to sound a clear call of change. Freedom is possible, and it feels amazing!

Journey in His peace-

Nick

Double Homicide for the Soul

2011-12-20T14:18:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year, I spent a couple of hours at the county jail. Before you go too far down the, "what did Nick do" line, let me just disclose that I occasionally fill in as the Thursday afternoon chaplain for guys who are in lock up. I do this a couple of times a year, and usually I meet with a few guys who are awaiting trial for some kind of drug-related charges. Guys in jail can request to meet with a pastor and anyone can request this meeting.

So on this particular day, I found myself face to face with a guy who looked...well, for lack of a better word, normal. Nothing about his appearance would suggest hardened criminal, or even a recreational drug user for that matter. His hair was neatly cut and his appearance to me was of a kind, middle-aged man. Not long into our conversation, though, I discovered that he was awaiting charges on double homicide. In a fit of rage and regret, he had busted in on his ex-lover and her current lover and shot them both to death.

It was a unique feeling that day to listen to this man's story; to hear his remorse, his fear, and his anger come spilling out. He didn't care much about what stripe of faith I was from- he saw me as a priest to whom he could confess and then ask if God could possibly forgive. My faith and my Bible tell me that God forgives all, and I told him as much. I did the best I could to speak hope and peace into a situation that had very little.

Yesterday, that man was sentenced to over 70 years in prison; an essential life sentence. Not only had he ended the lives of two others, but he had in a very real sense ended his own life. And as I look back, I find two compelling thoughts coming to mind. From my view, these two aspects of life are both like homicide for your soul; actions that can bring a quick end to the life, joy, and peace that God wants to bring.

First, I would say never underestimate the cumulative power of many small, bad decisions. Up until Mr. Feeney went and got his gun, his story could sound like many thousands of others- jilted in love, discouraged by relationships, feeling alone, and uncertain of himself. Nothing in his story was evil or horrid. He was just a guy who kept making bad decisions about relationships and how he would respond to them.

Now, I am not trying to suggest that any of you are on the verge of murder. But I do think it's worth pausing and reflecting on the truth that no one plans to do that one thing that will destroy a job, a marriage, or a life. We don't plan to go off the deep end. Very often, though, we do continue to make a string of bad decisions, convincing ourselves all the way that it won't catch up with us. We isolate from our spouses, skip out on church, drive past the gym, eat the extra cookie, buy more than we can afford, stray on-line a bit- little things perhaps in and of themselves. But all of these can indicate a direction in life. Would you be willing today to look at the cumulative choices of your life and ask, "what direction am I headed in?"

A second thought is this: the way we respond to hurt and pain will either bring us life or death. I was saddened and amazed, but not surprised, to read of one family member of the deceased saying in court, "We will never forgive you." I'm sure this raw emotion was and is completely warranted, but I found myself thinking, "how sad. You lost your loved one and now you are in danger of killing your own soul." Bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness have a powerful way of working into our psyche and destroying us from within. It has been said that it's like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. But we are the ones who ultimately pay.

Bitterness or unforgiveness give us the illusion that we are somehow punishing or controlling the one who has hurt us. The truth, however, is that we have no ultimate control over others. We can choose to be bitter and angry, and that other person can also choose not to care. We try to punish them but only punish ourselves. I hope the family member who stated this finds a path to forgiveness- not because Mr. Feeney does or doesn't deserve it, but because I know the power forgiveness has to bring life.

So, perhaps these ramblings will provide some perspective for you today. It's not every day we have a front row seat to watching a life unravel, but when we do it's a good opportunity to learn and to grow.

May your season be marked by Love, Joy and Peace in Christ-
Nick

A Psalm for the Rest of Us: By Heman

2011-11-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

If I'm honest, one of the things that frustrates me about the Bible is how it can be so hard to relate to. Burning bushes, parting seas, man-eating fish, and bread from heaven all make for awesome stories. But my life consists of burning toast, parting my daughter's hair, and bread from Safeway. I'm inspired by the miracles, moved by the stories of Christ, and even touched by angels (or at least the stories of them). My life, however, seems so much more...well, normal than that.

That's one of things that draws me to the Psalms. These songs are raw emotions of praise and pain, confidence and confession. These Psalms teach me how to pray and how to find trust amdist the daily grind of life. The Psalms express belief and trust in God in language that I often adopt for myself. Even when I am not feeling the same level of trust as the psalmists, I can speak their words in faith, "God, you are my Rock and my Redeemer."

But I recently ran across a Psalm that may be my new favorite. Psalm 88 starts out like this, "O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out to you by day, I come to you by night." So far, pretty typical stuff. The rest of the Psalm sounds like this:
My life is full of troubles...
I am as good as dead...
I am forgotten...
You have thrown me down to the lowest pits...
Your anger weighs me down...
You have driven my friends away...
My eyes are blinded by tears...
O Lord, why do you reject me...
Your terrors paralyze me...
You have taken away my companions...
My life really stinks and you God aren't helping...

Okay, I may have paraphrased that last one, but you get the gist. This is a lament; a man pouring out his heart to God. Now, typically we expect the Psalm to end with some rousing declaration of trust. We are accustomed to these Psalms ending with an "even yet will I trust you" kind of phrase. But for whatever reason, the author (his name is actually Heman) doesn't have it in him to go there. You know how our friend Heman ends?

Darkness is my closest friend.

Amen. End of Psalm. Nothing more. I can only imagine the awkward pause that must of followed the singing of this hymn in ancient Jerusalem.

By now, you might be thinking, "Didn't Nick say this was a new favorite? What kind of weird theology has entered into his brain to make this a favorite?" Fair enough. But here's where I am at. I like knowing that we can go to God, vent, complain and pour out our hearts. And at the end, we don't have to wrap it all up and sound spiritual. God doesn't need us to pander to him with half-hearted sentiments or veiled attempts at praise. To me, this Psalm grants you and I permission to go to God when life is crummy and not walk away expecting some instantaneous pick me up. It's an acknowledgement that sometimes life is hard and God doesn't have to show up and immediately fix my problems. This Psalm reminds me that it's okay to be real and that in some way, shape, or form, God appreciates the honesty.

So, maybe the most spiritual thing you could do today is vent. Tell God how you really feel. And if nothing happens, you can have peace knowing you join a long line of Heman's who have felt the same way. God still hears. God still records every word. And at some point, maybe in the next Psalm, the next day, or the next season, you will see His goodness and faithfulness again.

Until then, I'm glad to be on a journey of faith with other Hemans,

Nick

Three Little Letters

2011-10-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

Interesting, isn't it, how big of a difference three little letters can make?

Take for example the words humility and humiliate. On some level, we would all like more humility in our lives. We value that ability to have a fair, honest, and humble assessment of ourselves that keeps us from being big-headed and arrogant. Have you ever heard a friend say that they don't want humility? I haven't.

On the other hand, no one I know wants to be humiliated. Year after year, one of the top three fears for Americans is public speaking (mixed in with spiders and heights, I think). We talk all the time, so why fear public speaking? Because we might say something embarrassing, or trip over our words, or fumble around and that would be...you guessed it, humiliating. We tend to work very hard to avoid situations that might humiliate us.

Have you ever considered our power to choose between these two words? The way I see it, we are daily making the choice between humility or the inevitability of being humiliated. Here's how I understand the difference. Jesus said that, "Everything that is hidden or secret will eventually be brought to light and made plain to all." (Luke 8) Think about that- everything. All our "hidden" thoughts, motives and actions. The behaviors or attitudes we work very hard to keep from others. The mistakes we have made that we keep out of view. All of it made plain for everyone to see. This does not sound pleasant!

But here is where our choice comes in to play. When we choose to face truth about ourselves in the presence of others we are actively pursuing humility. Simply put, this is a definition of confession. The truth may not be pleasant, but in choosing to reveal it rather than hide it, we discover humility. The opposite is also true. When we choose to ignore truth about ourselves and attempt to mask or cover anything unpleasant about us, we are actively choosing humiliation. Oh sure, maybe not humiliation in the immediate context, but sooner or later our hidden lives have a way of becoming public, don't they? And what's even more, Jesus suggests in Luke 8 that even if we manage to keep all the ugly covered up in this life, it will be uncovered in the life to come. One way or another, truth surfaces and we face the music.

So, my challenge lately has been to choose truth now rather later. Deal with what is unpleasant today because it will only be worse tomorrow. And each time I make this choice, I point my life towards humility. And I would much rather be headed there than to blunder blindly on until humiliation finds me. Because eventually, it always will.

May you choose for humility this week as you journey on...
Peace!

Nick

Prayer/Life

2011-10-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, a primary purpose for our trip to Bosnia was to pray for the city of Sarajevo, the people, and the church. This happened in many different ways: prayer walks through neighborhoods, team gatherings at Izvor or our lodgings, and even praying with the local church at their weekly prayer meetings.

One encouraging aspect of all this praying is that prayer became a regular part of life while we were there. Our team was so comfortable and accustomed to praying with one another that any time and any circumstance could become reason for prayer. For example, on Friday night, we were riding the tram back to our lodging after working at Izvor to prepare for the open house. The tram at that hour of day was filled with 20-somethings who were all dressed up and on their way to the clubs and coffee houses. As we stepped off the train, I found myself thinking about how unreached this group is in Sarajevo. They are hungry for something, and desperately seeking life in all the wrong places. A few of us were walking together, and so I simply started praying for these young adults and asking God to fill them with hope and love. When I finished, a few others in our group who were walking ahead of us turned around and said, "we just prayed the same thing!" This was a common occurrence- what we saw and experienced got translated into prayer as it was happening.

If I could bring anything back to my day to day living in the States, it would be this dynamic. How often do I get caught up in my routines and my schedule and forget to pray? More often than I'd like to admit. With our prayer focus in Sarajevo, I began to understand what it meant to "pray without ceasing." When you pray often enough, your heart starts turning to prayer without your conscious brain even putting thought to it.

I want my heart to be so connected to the Father that I act this way all the time. I want to see the line between my normal life and my prayer life begin to blur until it's just prayer/life together. In Sarajevo, we developed the sense that we were walking through each day with Christ. Could it not be the same here? I believe it could be, but I know it takes a focus and a determination to return regularly to Father. But I am encouraged to think that if I will do this often enough, prayer can and will become second nature. Prayer will become like breathing in and breathing out.

May you walk with Jesus through this day and find your journey filled with prayer-

Peace,
Nick

Back from Bosnia

2011-10-01T10:58:00.001-07:00

Hey all-

It is so good to be home! I find myself really missing Bosnia- God did some great things and our team was so focused in on prayer that it is hard to be away from that. I am hoping to bring that "pray without ceasing" attitude back to life here in Kelso.

In case you missed it, or for all those who live out of town, we made a short video that played at our gathering last week. Check it out here! http://vimeo.com/29746474

Stay tuned for a "recap" video sometime next week. When you watch this video, take a moment and pray for Bosnia! There are 800 believers in the whole country. That represents .02% of the population. That's one out of every 5,000 people.

Journey on!

Nick

Stay the Course

2011-09-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hey friends-

Thought I'd say a quick Hello here to those of you who read faithfully. Hopefully you have had the chance to follow along with our Bosnia trip on our church blog, the House. If not, you can access it by visiting www.easthillsalliance.org and checking out the networking tab. Tons of great photos and thoughts!

We are getting to the part of any international trip that can begin to feel long. I can see it and feel it in our team. The brain and the body get tired of sleeping in a different country, eating different foods, and adjusting to different rhythms. I don't think we realize how much energy we conserve on a typical day when we are in our familiar surroundings- we don't have to think much about getting up, getting ready, driving to work, etc. But in a foreign country, you have to think about everything! And you start to wear down.

If you are reading this, would you just take a moment and pray? Pray that our team would finish well. Pray that I would lead and serve the team well. Ask God to remind me that He has given the gift of encouragement for a reason- now I have to use it! We are truly experiencing remarkable things, but it is really on my heart to reach the end with full engagement and joy.

Thanks for being on this journey with me-

Nick

Why We Go

2011-09-13T09:29:00.001-07:00

Note: For the next two weeks, I will be in Bosnia! I may post occasional updates here, but I would encourage you also check the blog for East Hills, as we aim to update daily on our trip.

Today I am in the final stages of preparing to be in Bosnia for two weeks. What an exciting adventure to partner with seven others from EHA to be on the ground in Sarajevo!

On this final day before stepping on board a plane, I thought I’d take a few moments and respond to a question I often hear about this kind of trip. People will ask me, “Why spend all that time and money to go? Why not just send the money to those who are already there?” A valid question! Two questions, actually! As this trip marchs closer and closer, I find my response to those questions growing ever clearer.

First, we go to build relationships and encourage our friends! It is a fallacy to believe that sending enough money anywhere will result in true change. Sure, money is necessary and workers cannot be sent without our support, but all too often we slip into the mindset that sending money is all God wants of us. Taking a trip like this gives our team the real opportunity to see people face to face. We get to shake hands, give hugs, share meals, laugh, cry and pray with them. As we do this with our friends in Bosnia- whether international workers, pastors or locals- God is at work. The gospel advances over relational bridges that get built one piece at a time.

Second, we go to pray on site. I don’t pretend to know all of the ins and outs of prayer. I am not certain whether some prayers matter more than others or not. But I have found in my experience that praying WITH someone is better than only praying for them. Praying at the site is somehow more significant than praying from far away. Please don’t get me wrong- I believe that prayers of any kind from any distance can be effective and powerful. But when we have the chance to see with our eyes and touch with our hands, in some way the Presence of God is given more freedom to work, move and change lives.

Third, we go to be connected. One of the amazing things for me to watch has been how this trip has naturally connected us to Bosnia and the team in Sarajevo. Because we are going, we have talked more in church about Bosnia. Because we are going, we have prayed more at our gatherings. And I have found that I am personally praying far more than I would have had we not been going. Knowing that we will be there in person has helped us “be there” already in our hearts and spirits.

Fourth, we go for the change that will occur in us. Too often, we tend to wonder what good we can do for a country or a city in two weeks. The better question is how much a country or a city can do in us! I know for a fact that our team will be profoundly impacted by what we see and experience. We will be drawn to prayer in new ways. Our eyes will be more open to spiritual realities. We will have better clarity to look at our way of life and question what is crucial and what is not. For this reason alone, I will take as many people as I can on overseas trips!

Finally, we go in order to build our church for the future. As we continue this partnership with Bosnia, I am certain that our vision for the world is growing within the church. Our horizons are being expanded, and people are being challenged to take steps of faith like never before. When we go, we send a message to our entire faith community about the nature of following Christ. We become a sending church. A going church. A praying church. Will this single trip leave a lasting mark in Bosnia? I hope so. But will it create lasting change in our gathering? I am certain of it.

In light of all this, I wonder aloud: How could we not go?

Peace-

Nick

Serving Left-Overs to God...(Malachi)

2011-08-31T15:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I think the book of Malachi is about as convicting as they come. I love that this little book is written in a dialogue format. The people keep interrupting the prophet (or God) to say, "Wait, wait, wait. When did we ever do that?" They protest their innocence and want to look good before God. And then God nails them with the selfish, deceitful, lazy heart of their actions.

As we read, we might be tempted to excuse ourselves from such rebukes. I mean, the people were after all bringing sick, crippled, or stolen animals to God. In a day and age where we are no longer required to bring animals as an offering, it is all too convenient to look back and say, "Who would do that?" But then God nails us with truth and says, "You do." So for all of us who protest and say "When did we ever bring you left-overs as a sacrifice?" I offer this list.

Have we ever
- Said we're too busy for church.
- Withheld a tithe or offering from God because money is tight.
- Not had time to read our Bibles or pray because we are too tired.
- Used all our best hours to make money.
- Carved out time to watch our favorite show but not to be in a small group.
- Sacrificed and saved to buy a house, car, or boat but never to give it away.
- Stopped singing or worshiping because we didn't like a song or the way it was done.
- Made our kids get up early for a game or practice but then skipped church because we slept in.

My guess is I could keep going, but I am also guessing that by now most of us are feeling like, "Stop, stop! I get the picture." Truth is, I have seen myself in most of these areas at one time or another. So what's the good news? There is none.

Ha! Just kidding. But the good news can be hard to stomach here because it really takes work. It's not a simple, do-three-things-to-make-it-all-better kind of approach. The message from Malachi is that we must learn to FEAR God. (3:16, 4:2)

In our modern language, we have a difficult time understanding how fear can be anything but negative- terror, anxiety, panic, worry, doubt- all these words play into our modern definition. But what Malachi is telling us when he says to fear God is this: "You should be a whole lot more concerned about whether or not you are listening to and obeying God than absolutely anything else in life." There, now that makes a lot more sense, doesn't it? Using the single idea "FEAR God" is good short-hand, though.

Do you fear God? Do I? And the real questions is do we arrange and rearrange our lives in such a manner that it actually shows we fear God? This my friends is where faith gets real.

Hoping you'll wrestle with this as you journey today-
Nick

Beware of Flying Scrolls..(Zechariah)

2011-08-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

I remember once in college, my theology professor teaching a class he called, "there's nothing new under the sun." His point was that very little had changed in the way people did evil, rejected God, and treated one another. Fortunately, he also affirmed that very little had changed in the way God loved the world, redeemed situations for good, and led people into His will.

I offer this idea against the back-drop of our current culture. Marketers work very hard to convince us all that there is indeed very much new under the sun- and we must have it! This obsession with the new can make the Bible feel very foreign and rigid. Honestly, I think we are unaccustomed to speaking the language.

Thus enters the book of Zechariah. For those of us who are more familiar with the territory of the New Testament, Zechariah prepares us to understand the Kingdom vision of God. In particular, the apocalyptic vision of Revelation draws more heavily on Zechariah than any other Old Testament book. Revelation can seem like a foriegn land, until we realize that flying scrolls, evil represented by a woman, the four horsemen, and vision of lamp stands all appear in Zechariah. Like Revelation would do hundred's of year later, Zechariah gives us pictures and images to understand a spiritual world that often lies beyond our senses.

I think the message here is to a group of beleaguered souls returning from exile. They return to a Jerusalem unlike anything they have imagined or seen, and the whole world seems to have changed. The walls are gone, the temple smashed, and evil seems to have its way. But in Zechariah, God calls out a reminder, "I am the same, and there's nothing new under the sun." In this book, we find that failing to listen to God brings judgment, but God's love is relentless. We hear that God still has plans for Jerusalem and her people. We see a God who promises to inhabit His temple and His city once more. And he promises blessing on all who walk closely with Him. Similar story and promises as we find throughout Scripture, but delivered to a new generation of people.

We live in worlds that often seem unfamiliar. Jobs, families or routines can be uprooted and changed seemingly overnight. But God is our constant. And we can depend on the one who has promised that He himself will be our protecting wall.

May the steadfastness of God's plan and God's love hold you on the journey today,

Nick

Lost Foundations...(Haggai)

2011-08-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

Context is everything. One of my favorite parts of reading through the Minor Prophets this summer has been to ground them in their original setting. When we do this, the words take on a whole new meaning.

So picture this. The people of Jerusalem have been in Babylonian captivity for 50 years. But then a new regime takes over, and some of them are permitted to return home. Only, for most of them this isn't really home because they have spent the whole of their lives in Babylon. So a contingent of young and old, men and women, return to Palestine and immediately begin to rebuild the altar and the temple so they can worship God. A great start, but things unraveled quickly. You see, enemy nations have moved into the area and the last thing they wanted was for Jerusalem to return to strength, and the temple of the Living God was the ultimate show of strength. So they did everything in their power to discourage the work.

Well, they were successful. The foundation of the temple was in place, but the work was then abandoned. The people left the work unfinished and began to focus on their own lives; building their homes, tending their flocks, and raising their crops. After all, this new temple couldn't even compare in size or stature to the old, so enthusiasm quickly waned. When opposition came, they had all they excuse they needed to forget about God and just focus on living.

Hmm...am I the only one that finds this vaguely familiar? We make a good start with God, we push into His promises and rely on His Word, but then life creeps in. Faith gets complicated. Relationships get messy and some even seem to be against us. And the easy thing to do is just focus on life. Do the job. Earn the money. Make a living just like everyone else. Leave the foundation unfinished.

It is into this dynamic that the prophet Haggai speaks. This is his message from the Lord,
"Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins? This is what the Lord of Heaven's Armies says: Look at what's happening to you! You have planted much but harvested little. You eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty. You put on clothes but cannot keep warm. Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes!" (Haggai 1:4-6)

In other words, the people had buried their heads in making a living, but none of it provided real life. They were empty and their pursuits did not satisfy. So God comes along and reminds them of His temple- that a foundation is in place and they would do well to build on it. God promises them that when they devote themselves to Him, blessing and joy will follow. (2:19) And it does. With enthusiasm, they return and build the temple, and God pours out blessing on the people.

Where in your life are you busy making a living, only to find that it brings little real life? May we all hear the words of God to build on a solid foundation. For some, this foundation has been lost amidst paychecks and properties, soccer and school, work and play. But if we will turn to the Author of Life and build on Him, joy will follow. Will it be easy, convenient, or fun all the time? No. But the blessing and joy it brings is real life.

May you know this life on your journey today-
Nick

On Dark Days... (Zephaniah)

2011-08-11T11:06:00.000-07:00

You ever have one of those days that just feels dark? Maybe it's the weather, or a long to-do list after vacation, or just the flow of life, but yesterday felt like a dark day for me. It seemed that everywhere I looked, rather than being happy, or easy-going, or free, I found a reason to be down.

One thing I like so much about the minor prophets is how they seem to have shared my experience, but on a much grander scale. The prophet Zephaniah was speaking words on one of his dark days, and they sounded like this:

"What sorrow awaits rebellious, polluted Jerusalem,
the city of violence and crime!
No one can tell it anything;
it refuses all correction.
It does not trust in the Lord
or draw near to God.
Its leaders are like roaring lions hunting for their victims.
Its judges are like ravenous wolves at evening time;
who by dawn have left no trace of their prey.
Its prophets are arrogant liars seeking their own gain.
Its priests defile the Temple by disobeying God's instructions."

Zephaniah looks around his world and sees nothing but doom and gloom. It's a tough time for him and for the great city of Jerusalem. What hope could there be at a time like that?

But then a blinding ray of LIGHT:
"But the Lord is still there in the city, and He does no wrong." (3:1-5)

Did you catch that? In a rebellious, polluted city filled with vicious, man-eating leaders, corrupt judges, greedy prophets and dirty priests, God is still present. Even though the city is dark, God is still light and His light is still good. He did not abandon the situation because it had turned ugly; the ugliness actually brought forth His goodness that much more.

It makes me think of a line from the Lord of the Rings, Two Towers, when Frodo has lost all hope, but his friend Samwise is there to encourage him. About the dark around them, Samwise declares, "Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you."

When we are in the dark, God is still light, and He is still present with us. Darkness or evil does not make God run from us or abandon us; rather He remains in order to shine His light all the clearer into our lives.

I pray that whatever you experience today, you, like Zephaniah, will know that the Lord is still here in this city- in your world, in your home, in your life.

Journey in His light today-
Nick

Me, But Not You (Jonah)

2011-07-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Do you have any jokes in your arsenal where you can remember the punch-line, but not the joke? This seems to be a frequent occurrence at family gatherings. Someone in my family will blurt out a punch-line in the middle of a conversation that makes us all laugh, but then someone will ask, "How does that joke go again?"

Or perhaps you tend to remember the joke, but not the punch-line. This seems to be a more common experience with the Bible. Not that the Bible is filled with jokes, but many stories in Scripture are very memorable. We know the characters, the details, and the outcome. But very often, we forget the punch-line. We lose sight of the reason the story was given to us in the first place. This happens with the Prodigal Son, the Exodus, and the Cross.

But the story of Jonah and the whale might take the prize for the best known story with the least known application. We know Jonah ran away when God told him to go and prophecy to those bad guys in Nineveh. We know a huge storm trapped the ship which Jonah sailed on, and that superstitious sailors threw him overboard. We know about the giant fish that swallowed him whole and kept Jonah in his belly for three days. We may even know that Jonah escaped all this, finally went to Nineveh, and that the city repented and was spared God's judgment.

Fascinating story. But what's the point? I believe it actually has very little to do with the fish. There's some deep irony in this story. You see, Jonah is also mentioned in 2 Kings 14. In this account, Jonah prophecies about some successful land reclamation during the reign of Jeroboam II. We also discover that Jeroboam II was an evil king, yet God did good things on Israel's behalf, choosing to show mercy to His people. In spite of their rebellion, God chose to be merciful and compassionate because this was his nature. And Jonah saw it all.

Jonah was well aware of God's nature to show mercy and compassion. But when God shows mercy and compassion to Nineveh, he is outraged. His complaint against God is to say, "I knew it! I knew you would be merciful and not destroy Nineveh! That's why I ran away!" (ch. 4) So when God shows mercy to Jonah and his people, Jonah is okay with that. But when God acts the same way to others, Jonah's not so sure.

Isn't that our tendency? We want God to be forgiving of our weaknesses and short-comings, but we kind of like the idea that God will judge the weaknesses and short-comings of others, particularly of our enemies. The fact that God feels the same way about them as He does about us can be a hard pill to swallow. But this is the lesson of Jonah- that God will show mercy and compassion to whomever He chooses. Our role is not to judge and determine who should and should not receive this mercy, but to faithfully proclaim this message everywhere.

On your journey, may you be the kind of person that hopes God will treat others just like He treat you. May we long to see His mercy and compassion on display all around the world, even to our enemies.

Peace-

Nick

Sticking Up for You (Obadiah)

2011-07-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are verbally attacking someone, but at the same time totally aware that it has nothing to do with them? Oh, I'm not talking about the kind of moments where we've had a bad day and so we yell at our dog (or our kids). I'm thinking more about moments like this.

The other day, I was tinkering on some project in our garage while the kids were playing out in the cul-de-sac. We live in a neighborhood with lots of other young children, and in general this makes for good times with lots of playmates. But some of these children have, shall we say, less than involved parents in their lives. The behavior they exhibit would suggest they live with very few, if any, boundaries.

So on this day, I watch my three-year old daughter Maddie playing happily with her tricycle, wheeling her doll around the circle. At one point, she drops the doll, and so gets off the trike to go back and pick it up. In that nano-second, one of these aforementioned children runs over and jumps on her toy. In that moment, I feel something rising up within me. I feel some righteous indignation on behalf of my daughter and so I rushed out to her defense. No, I didn't yell or lose my cool, but in one of those very stern voices that only fathers can produce, I instructed this boy that this was not okay. I told him that he was being rude and not respecting the property or the feelings of others.

But the whole time I'm having this one-sided conversation (maybe 30 seconds at most), I realize in the back of my mind that this has nothing to do with the neighbor boy. I honestly don't see it as my role to parent him or teach him right and wrong. This whole scene is occurring because I want my daughter to see her dad coming to her rescue and caring for her by defending her from others.

By now you may be asking yourself, "What in the Sam Hill does this have to do with Obadiah?" You see, the book of Obadiah is exactly the same way. Most of this amazingly short book deals with a prophecy against the nation of Edom, the descendants of Esau and thus relatives of Israel. God has some pretty dire warnings for them, but I can't help but think that these words were never intended to actually reach Edom.

No, these words were for Israel. This is God sticking up for His kids. It appears that Obadiah is written shortly after the downfall of Jerusalem and the resulting exile of her people. The Jews are taken to a distant land and must find themselves wondering if God has deserted them. Obadiah's message was God's way of saying, "I have seen everything they did to you and I will pay them back. Not only that, but I will rescue you and bring you home once more. Trust me to do this."

So, wherever you find yourself today, I pray that you will know the God who rushes to your defense. A God who sees the unfair blows life has leveled against you and promises to make things right again. We may not be able to see how that could ever happen, but God continues to work His good plan in your life because that's the kind of God He is. A God who is always sticking up for you, His kid.

Journey with Him today-
Nick

From the Mouths of Shepherds (Amos)

2011-06-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

This post is a little late due to my involvement in All-Star Camp this week. What a hoot to hang out with the kids at Barnes School. I think a good time was had by all!

One aspect of the book of Amos that I appreciate is the detail we are given about this prophet. For most of the minor prophets in the Old Testament, we get very little detail about their life or background. Sometime a city of origin. Sometimes the name of the father, or perhaps the king who reigned during the time of their prophecy. Sometimes only the name of the prophet! But about Amos, we are given this unique little tidbit: he was a shepherd from Tekoa.

While some recent Biblical scholars have tried to claim that Amos was more of an elite "breeder", all of the earliest and best evidence would suggest that Amos is exactly as the book suggests; a simple shepherd. A low-ranking caretaker of four-legged creatures, mostly ignored by the greater world, except perhaps for a group near Bethlehem some 700 years later. But it is this lowly shepherd whom God calls to minister to kings. Unlike most of the prophets, who give messages to only one nation, Amos delivers God's word to no less than 8 nations. Amos is called upon to deliver powerful words of God's coming judgment to the elite of his day.

This falls in line very well with what we heard last week from Joel. (Remember "the book of the 12"- meant to be read/understood together!) Joel 3 says, "Let the weak say I am strong!" When it comes to God assembling his final army, he pays no attention to our worldly definitions of weak and strong- He uses whomever He chooses. The weaklings become warriors.

Ironically, the "elite" prophet in the book of Amos is a man named Amaziah, who evidently works for King Jeroboam in Israel. Rather than speaking God's truth, however, this seer chooses to say what the king wants to hear. Words of comfort, peace, and security. And he was dead wrong. But not Amos. Amos says what needs to be said because God is the one saying it.

I guess what I really want to say is a reminder to all of us that God speaks in the most amazing ways, and rarely does He use the powerful, the rich, or the famous to deliver his Words. He uses shepherds, fishermen, and outcasts. He uses the weak to shame the strong. The lowly and the despised things become the honored ones in God's kingdom.

No matter where you are, no matter what situation you might find yourself in, God wants to speak to you and through you. Don't say no because of your station, your age, or your place. Allow Him to use you, and the world will be a different place.

On this journey, there's a bit of shepherd in us all. The question is, will we trust God to use even us however He chooses? I hope your answer, and mine, will be yes!

Peace-
Nick

Learning from Locust (Joel)

2011-06-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

The book of Joel opens up with less than positive images. Locust of all kinds (swarming, hopping, stripping, cutting!) are moving through the land like a storm. A severe drought is swallowing up any life that remains. It is a bleak, dark season. The people are called together in a "solemn assembly" to weep, fast and pray.

And where is God? Evidently, He is actually behind the locust and the famine, using these plagues as instruments to bring about repentance and brokenness in His people. Sounds like some typical Old Testament prophecy.

What I find, however, is that in the dire circumstance prophets speak about, God is actually doing something quite amazing. In Joel 2:25, God makes an incredible statement to His people. "I will give you back what you lost to the locust." God boldly proclaims that everything they are currently experiencing will one day be a distant memory because life will again be good.

These words of encouragement can be tough to hear if we find ourselves in the midst of a dark place. Even more so if we believe God has brought the dark season on us! But I think this is the nature of our God- to redeem, restore and bless. And though we may not even be able to see how, He plans to give us even more than we had at first. Times of difficulty, conflict, and strife can actually become the gateway to blessing and joy. This is more than the silver lining in the cloud. This is the all-powerful God declaring that he will utilize His power to give you back what has been lost. The locust took it. God will restore it.

Is this some kind of magic formula? This almost sounds like a math problem: simply add up what you had before, subtract what you lost in the crisis, and then wait for God to add back more than you had before. Is it as simple as that? No, I think the key in avoiding this kind of formulaic thinking is the transition that occurs between famine and feast. You see, the people gather together, weeping, fasting and praying, and put their hope entirely in God. They cry out to Him in dependence. In other words, they choose to entrust themselves to the very one who appears to be inflicting the pain. They do what is counter-intuitive and put their hope fully in the One who stands behind the circumstances.

And in the end, the blessing they receive far outweighs the pain of their circumstances.

That's what God is like. One who seeks to give you back even more than you lost. But we must trust and wait for Him to do it!

May you know this kind of God on your journey today,
Nick

Back to the Brothel (Hosea)

2011-06-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

This summer, we are inviting folks along on a journey through the minor prophets in a sermon series called, "The Book of the 12". As a way to get people thinking during the week, and as a way to help those who might miss a week here or there, I will be blogging about each of these books on Thursday before it gets preached on Saturday and Sunday. I invite your dialogue each week! I believe that as we process together, we are stretched and challenged to grow.

One aspect of the minor prophets that drew me to preaching on them was the idea that these books actually form one book. A great deal of evidence exists that these books, from the very start, were written, designed, and compiled intentionally into one work called the Book of the Twelve. If this is so, as I am prone to believe, then Hosea forms the perfect 'opening chapter' for the book. The introduction here sets up everything else.

So what did God seek to communicate in the opening chapter? At first, it seems quite confusing. God's opening words to Hosea the prophet are, "Go marry a prostitute." I can only imagine the various reactions and choice words Hosea had for this command. But, in obedience, he does just as God says. God wants a very graphic image of how Israel has treated him. I'm not sure He could get much more graphic than this! Hosea marries Gomer the prostitute and together they have three children. (Although if you read the text closely, it is highly likely that these children are NOT fathered by Hosea.)

The children are given names like "not planted", "not loved" and "not my people". And you thought your name was bad! Things do not look good for God and Israel at this point. Yet before the first chapter comes to a close, we see powerful foreshadowing of what God has in mind. He predicts a day when all will be changed, and the kids (metaphors for Israel, remember) will get new names- planted, loved, and my people. This sounds good! This is a story of redemption, hope and possibility!

Or is it? Because what happens next is astounding. Gomer leaves. Gomer betrays Hosea, abandons his love, and returns to living in the brothel. And Hosea, as a representative of God, is left as the jilted lover. Prophecy flows about the anger of God and the coming destruction on Israel for her sin. All is lost! The future is bleak! How could it not be? A redeemed hooker who is given everything throws it all away for her former life of folly. Good riddance, we say!

But not God. God's heart will not yield. Even though He is moved to fury, His passionate love remains unchanged. He sends Hosea to find her and bring her back. Think about that- He sends Hosea AGAIN to reclaim a woman that won't even stay with him. And by chapter 14, the end of this book, God is promising to love and bless his unfaithful bride. How awesome is that?

What turns this book on its head for me, though, is not that we are supposed to be like Hosea, and like God, and love the sinner who keeps on sinning. No, what makes this book amazing is that we are invited over and over to see that we are Gomer. We are ones who have experienced the incredible love and redemption of God, and yet we continue to run to other lovers. We go back to our addictions. We rely on self. We get caught up with the world. We turn from real love and prostitute ourselves with cheap imitations.

And where is God? Coming to find us and bring us home. Again. And again. Because His love will not relent. Even in brothels. Or board rooms. Or bed rooms. He will find you. He will find me. The question for us is will we get up and go home to live with Him, our true love?

I pray we will. Journey on-
Nick

The Morning Commute

2011-06-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

No, I am not speaking of some grueling drive from home to work. Mine is only three stoplights and seven peaceful minutes. I am speaking of the much more grueling task we face daily to get from bed to desk, from sleep to work, from rest to productivity. What I am amazed by is how frequently this 60 to 90 minute period of my day can be filled with incredibly negative thinking.

Today, I was very aware of this for some reason. I jotted down just a few of the thoughts the invaded my brain while commuting this morning:
- I can't get plants to grow. There must be something wrong with me.
- I gained a few pounds on Men's Retreat. I really lack self-control.
- I am unorganized and can't keep my office cleaned up.
- I am unsuccessful and a nobody compared to... (I could put any number of "successful" pastors in the blank here; about a dozen of them stared up at me on a conference advertisement this morning.)
- Our church is small and will never make a difference.
- I can't play the guitar and I lack any real skill.
- I'm sure giving and attendance will be poor in June.
- I must have disappointed my parents this morning because my kids were watching TV when they left.

Now, your list might look vastly different than mine, but I wonder how many of us do have a list. Some mornings it can be more quiet and subtle, while other morning it shouts rather obscenely at us. What I am noticing today is how many of these negative thoughts are half-truths. Observations that I have made and then turned into a deeper self-critique. For example, I do have some plants that are struggling to grow in my yard. But how do I go from there to "something is wrong with me"?

This, my friends, is the nature of evil. Call it what you want- the old self, Satan, the Monday morning blahs- but something insidious takes our short-comings and turns them into deeper questions of our worth, value, and identity.

So, on my journey today, I am doing my best to remember who I am. I took a few minutes to pray and read Scripture and asked God to give me a new soundtrack. My only regret is that I didn't start the morning commute this way. Maybe I will tomorrow.

Whatever your morning "commute" is like, may it be filled with words that are true and spoken from your loving Heavenly Father.

Praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. (Eph. 1:3,4)

Journey On-

Nick

Grab the Popcorn

2011-05-24T13:17:00.001-07:00

I don't usually take the time to recommend movies on this blog, but in this particular case, I just couldn't resist.

The disclaimers that I give will clue you in right away that this is not your normal film. I will warn you that it is a documentary narrated by an Englishman. The film follows the lives of elderly adults in their 70's and 80's singing in a choir. Before you click to another site, you should also know this: they perform rock music- from groups like Coldplay, Sonic Youth, Crash, and the Beatles.

The movie is called Young at Heart, and if you can find it on your stroll through the local movie store, Redbox, or Netflix site, you will be glad you did. From the opening scene, these old-timers capture your heart and put a smile on your face. Something about this movie really connected with me in a deep way. I think it speaks about the need we all have in life to truly care about something. To have a passion that keeps us going and keeps us singing.

Give it an hour or two- you will be glad you did.

May it speak to you on your journey-

Nick

New Billboard

2011-05-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

I guess the Doomsday bulletin board in Portland got changed this morning. This is what it looks like now:

Jesus does know- that gives me hope!

My your hope be in HIM today on your journey-

Nick

It's the End of the World!

2011-05-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

Or maybe not.
Or maybe it is.

Either way, you may have heard that a group of well-intentioned (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here) Christians has plastered signs and billboards around the country declaring that God will bring this world to an end at 6:00 PM on Saturday, May 21st. So, as long as you live a few time zones west of the International Date Line, you should have at least a bit of warning.

As I hear and read about this group, I certainly think about their apparent lack of knowledge when it comes to Scripture. We are told that Jesus' second coming will be as a thief in the night. Every metaphor and parable used depicts the surprise of the world. And Jesus himself said that only the Father knows the day or the hour. So, I must admit, the idea that we can nail down the precise date and hour feels at least ill-advised to me, if not down-right laughable.

But more than my observations of Scripture, I am curious about our response to this May 21st declaration. Some people, I believe, are led to genuine fear and concern. Along with the end of they Mayan calendar in 2012, doomsday prophecies seem to be more frequent these days. Hollywood has helped us imagine these events to be cataclysmic and deadly. If you find yourself in this position of fear, may I remind you that God holds the world in His hands. If and when it does end, it will be only at His command and in His way. For those of us who have found and placed our hope in Jesus Christ, this ought to fill us with great comfort and joy. The end of the world is only to be feared if it is a random event of unprecedented evil. We, however, have chosen to fear God. And if this is the case, the end of the world has no fear!

For others, however, these end of the world prophecies reveal a different side of the heart. Not only do we mock the idea that the world will end soon, we scoff at the idea that the world will end at all. If we are completely honest, we look inside our lives and realize we have no eagerness to see this life come to an end! This was what I found disturbing about myself this week: that though I questioned this doomsday prophecy for good reason, I also found no hope that it might be true.

You see, if we follow Jesus Christ, there ought to be a part of our lives, a big part of us, that hungers and desires to see this day come! The hope of heaven should so fill us that each day we long to see it come to be. I am not there, though I wish that I were. I find myself too content in the beautiful life God has given me on this earth. Have I perhaps forgotten, that all of this beauty is meant to draw me to Him and His complete beauty? Have I allowed myself to settle for mere shadows of the greater things to come? Have you?

So, while I am going to go ahead and prepare my message for this weekend, and keep paying my bills, I do want to live with an increasing zest and zeal to see one of these predictions come true. I pray that on your journey, you will find the grace and strength to do the same.

"But we are looking forward to the new heavens ad new earth he has promised, a world filled with God's righteousness." (2 Peter 3:13)

May it be so. Journey on-
Nick

A Different Take

2011-05-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

I am back to preaching out of the book of Revelation at church. One of the great aspects of speaking from the final book of the Bible is the sheer volume of detail- it would be impossible in any one given sermon to cover the multitude of ideas and thoughts in a chapter. I thought I would take some time over the next few weeks and blog about some of the details I just don't have time to speak about, but that I find fascinating.

This weekend, the message was from chapter 6 (to listen, go here: http://www.easthillsalliance.org/#/home/current-series), which includes the description of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Some of you may be surprised to know that they do not play defensive line for Notre Dame. (For the non-sports fan, just ignore the obscure reference.) One such fascinating detail from this passage concerns the third horseman: this rider is given authority, apparently, to go out and be over famine or economic scarcity such that a loaf of bread will cost a days wages. And then we get this unique detail: but spare the wine and the olive oil. (Some versions say, "don't damage") What is this all about?

Here's my take after reading many different commentaries, all of which seem to disagree with one another and would undoubtedly disagree with me. God gives this rider permission to take away from people what they most needed to survive- basic food for sustenance- but to leave the more peripheral indulgences. While wine and olive oil were of great abundance and used frequently throughout the region, these commodities in and of themselves would not sustain life. If God has sent out these riders in judgment with the hope of bringing humanity to a place of brokenness, this makes total sense to me. By taking away what we really need and leaving what we only think we need, God would be revealing the foolishness of some of our pursuits.

I mean, think about it. How many of us if we had to give up grain or Facebook might actually choose grain? How many if we had to give up clean drinking water or our car might actually keep the car? We are accustomed to having so much, much more than we really need, that the idea of not having our basest of needs is tough to even imagine. I wonder if that is why the third rider is given this authority: take away what they really need in order to expose the triviality of what they want most. If Revelation is an unveiling- a new way of seeing the world- this would certainly accomplish it.

May the curtain of our lives be pulled back to see all of the ways in which we put our hope and our trust in stuff that won't last. May our security be in the Giver of Life alone.

Journey on-

Nick

A Hearty Yes and Amen

2011-05-04T15:32:00.000-07:00

My uncle writes a weekly blog and I couldn't resist pointing you to it this week as he offers some perspective on the recent end to the Osama saga. It has been interesting to watch these events, and I think John helps put my finger on why. Take a few minutes to read:

http://www.johnstumbo.org/blog/index.php?/archives/243-Obama-Gets-Osama.html

Peace,

Nick

A New Title

2011-04-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

If you are a regular reader of this blog (all 6 of you), then you might notice a new title today. "Pastor's Corner" was something I came up with quite awhile back and just never considered if it was an apt description of my writings. In truth, I think it failed to really capture what I want to do here.

Pastor's Corner implies that I offer wise, pastoral advice to those who come seeking help. While at times I may lean this way with my blog, my greater desire is to simply process the journey that we are all on. To walk through the struggles, the joy, the pain, the wonder of being asked to walk day in and day out with the Master of the Universe. How can any of us hope to accomplish this? Only by His grace.

And so I will continue in this attempt to offer some perspective on my own journey in the hopes that it might inform and inspire you on yours. As always, I welcome and hope for your input. I would like this to be more dialogue than monologue.

I leave you with this quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer that summarizes my thoughts better than I could:

"With God, one does not arrive at a fixed position; rather, one walks along a way. One moves ahead or one is not with God. God knows the whole way; we only know the next step and the final goal. There is no stopping; every day, every hour it goes farther. Whoever sets his foot on this way finds that his life has become a journey on the road."

Glad to be on this journey with you!

Peace-
Nick

Last Minute Lent

2011-04-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

Someone in the East Hills family sent me this story during the week. I thought it might be an encouragement to all of you...

This Monday morning I woke up, got dressed for work, drank my coffee and headed out the door; much like any other given Monday. When I came out to my car, I noticed papers all over both my front seats, and all my doors were unlocked. Someone had somehow gotten my doors unlocked, broken in, and took my CD player and some other things.

As you know, I'm a huge fan of music, so this was an almost debilitating blow. Usually, I listen to worship music in the morning on my way to work. It helps me prepare for the day, and it's a time I set aside for God.

You can imagine how I felt knowing that I could not enjoy music in my car now, and the disappointment that sank in my heart. I called a friend immediately to tell her. She reassured me that it was just stuff, and that she was happy it was nothing personal, and they didn't take the whole car instead. Much to my dismay I continued on with my work day, and did all the appropriate things (called my landlord and reported it to the Police).

However, I still felt that sting in my heart, so I called my friend again, and this time she said the words I knew were true all along: "Maybe this is God's way of saying He wants you to listen."

In that moment I knew I had to add this to my Lent list. Originally, I did what every guy wants to do, and tried to figure out how to fix it. However, the moment I let it go and decided I would NOT replace it until after Lent is through, I received phone calls and visits from friends I hadn't heard from in a while, and who didn't know what had happened. I was also blessed with huge support from my family and those closest to me.

The reason I share this with you is because this is a moment when I believe God very intentionally did work on my life.

So, here I sit on my lunch break, still thankful for the thieves who stole my car stereo, because Jesus met me there. I hope this was a good read for you.

May we all find our places in life where we can rejoice, even when we're the victim of theft! When God and His way becomes more central to us than even our most important possessions, we know He really has our hearts. This is where I want to be!

Blessings on your journey-
Nick

Get That Donkey

2011-04-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

One of the tendencies we all have with the Bible, or any book really, is that we can read it so much we miss the really good stuff. Now, I am not encouraging us to read the Bible less. I am encouraging us to read slowly enough to stop and say, “Wow, that is not what I expected.”

One such example is in John 11. You may know the story well- as Jesus approaches Jerusalem for the final time, shortly before his crucifixion, he sends the disciples on a unique errand. They are to go and retrieve a donkey. Jesus will sit on this very donkey and ride into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. Okay, so Jesus and the people of Jerusalem didn’t know they were creating Palm Sunday, but they did.

I have always been shocked that Jesus rode a donkey. A great white stallion seems better. But this is in line with his birth in a manger, his death on a cross, and his life among common, ordinary people. So, in the end, the donkey itself isn’t that surprising. What I was struck by recently was the fact that he asked the disciples to go get the donkey.

I wonder what if felt like as they were untying this beast- a valuable possession to someone else. All they have been instructed to say is, “The Lord needs it and will return it when he is through.” This HAD to be an uncomfortable moment for the disciples involved. And yet, in simple obedience they do what is asked of them, and the King rides into town.

In so many ways, that is our call as Christ-followers. Throughout life, we will be asked to follow and obey in ways that to us don’t make a whole lot of sense. We may not even see the whole picture. But our primary job description is to do whatever it takes to the pave the way for the King to ride in. We are not the main event; we prepare the way for the One who’s coming is the Event.

How many times have I missed this because I want to be in the middle of it all? Today Jesus, I am trying to remember that you are the big deal. And I will go and fetch the donkey. Or serve my family. Or love the unlovable. Or give beyond my comfort. Or choose trust and faithfulness even when it isn’t fun. I will obey. But help me, please, because I am not always comfortable with fetching donkeys. I’d rather ride the stallion in the crowd. Teach me humility, so that You will always be the main event.

May your journey be one of simple obedience so the King can ride in-

Peace,

Nick

Graceful Tromping

2011-03-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, on my way home from meetings in Olympia, I stopped off at Seaquest State Park for a late afternoon run. After four days of good, steady rain the trail promised to be a wet and sloppy mess. Does it make me strange that this is exactly why I wanted to stop and run there? Something about the adventure of careening through narrow muddy trails with the distinct possibility that I could slide off into oblivion made the park oddly alluring on that day.

I have a roughly 2-mile loop that I love to run through the trees and streams. It's a peaceful and quite respite from the world. On the second of these loops, I glanced up in time to spot a young deer on the trail ahead of me, who had already seen me and bounded effortlessly into the woods. I was immediately struck by this animal's ability to barrel straight into the densely wooded and overgrown underbrush without making even the slightest of sounds. Had I not seen him, I would never have been alerted to his presence. There was an amazing grace and agility to the deer that quickly reminded me I was the intruder on his home soil.

After my friend silently disappeared, I became painfully aware of the racket I was making. My size 13 Gore-Tex lined Nike Triax shoes, though carefully designed by the brain-trust down there in Beaverton, were like bulldozers in comparison to the deer. Anyone within a mile of me was aware of my presence. And in that moment, I felt very much the outsider who had stumbled into a place where the natural inhabitants moved about with grace that I lacked.

I pondered as I ran how this can often be a picture of my spiritual journey. I go to this place (God) of peace and security, running gratefully to Him. But so often I feel as though I am tromping around noisily in an arena where I don't belong. What is it about our faith, that no matter how long we have it, still feels strange and unfamiliar to us? I was reminded that faith and spirituality are not my natural language. Perhaps God intended them to be, but I have become so wrapped in the things of this world that the faith journey always feels a bit foreign.

And so I have to practice things like Lent. I have to work at prayer, and listening for God in Scripture. For how else will I discover the gentle grace of this place called "being with God"? Perhaps you find yourself often in this place as well- a place you long to go but where you perpetually feel as an outsider.

Take joy today knowing that the Father welcomes you into His presence, even if you tromp noisily in size 13 shoes.

Peace-
Nick

Coat Check, Please

2011-03-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

I am hearing lots of great stuff as people in our church observe the practice of Lent. Some are loving it. Some are hating it. But all seem to be effected by it, and in some form are challenged to invite more of God into their lives. That is great!

One perspective on Lent is how we are encouraged to come to God without all the stuff we normally depend on. In Mark 10, Jesus was walking through Jericho when a blind beggar named Bartimaeus heard He was nearby. He cries out for mercy, and the great Healer hears and stops. He invites Bartimaeus to come. And then there is this little line that Mark includes, tucked between calling and healing, that we generally overlook, "Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus."

Bartimaeus threw aside his coat. We might think of this as a minor detail, but I wonder about the significance of that coat to blind Bart. Remember, he is a beggar, and as such this may very well have been his only possession. I wonder how many long, cold nights Bart endured with only his coat to give him some warmth and security. I wonder how many days this coat was the only way he could define 'his space'- a place to sit and call home. I wonder how often this coat give him an inkling of safety against exposure to a harsh world.

And yet, in the presence of Jesus, the coat gets thrown aside. He stands all alone before Him, because his hope is in the Savior alone. And he is healed. Life was never the same.

I wonder aloud today- how many of us would grab the coat as we jumped up. "Jesus, I am here, but just in case you don't come through I have a back-up plan." Lent is one way in which we decide to let the coat lie. To lay aside the things that we trust in and at times find so indispensable. We come before Jesus, desperate for Him alone. What might your coat be? And could you, would you, leave it behind to go to Jesus?

May you find joy on your journey today, even if it's without a coat-

Nick

Teach Us to Suffer

2011-03-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

Hmm, perhaps that title will discourage a few of you from reading much further! But even that observation- that something within us recoils from the very idea of suffering- reveals a bit of our mindset.

I am encouraged today by the flawed and faltering faith of the Jesus' closest disciples. In Mark 10, Jesus makes this bold and precise declaration of his impending crucifixion in Jerusalem. I can imagine many responses to such a revelation- fear, anxiety, concern for my friend Jesus- but the reaction of James and John is NOT what I would expect. They come up to Jesus, almost immediately, and have a request. "Jesus, give us the best seats in the house right next to you when you sit on your glorious throne." Maybe I missed something- Jesus just proclaimed he was going to be rejected, whipped, beaten, and killed. And then rise again. It seems to me that all James and John heard was the last sentence.

Much like James and John, we live under the illusion that glory can come without suffering. That the road to victory can detour around pain, self-denial, and sacrifice. This is why I like James, John, and the other knuckleheads that had a hard time really understanding what Jesus was all about. I am much the same. I would like to sit with Jesus in glory; I am uncertain about hanging with Him on a cross.

And yet this was exactly Paul's goal: "I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead." Paul understood what James and John could not: that life follows death. Resurrection is only possible for the dead.

As we walk in a season of Lent, we are invited to experience "death" in tangible ways. We give up comforts, joys, and obsessions that have captured us in order that we might learn to suffer. Even those this kind of suffering is so small in comparison to a Cross, it opens us up to a truth that often lies beyond our comprehension. Joy is not found in the stuff of life, but in the Giver of Life, and for some reason suffering puts us in touch with Him.

I guess I don't have any profound conclusion to make today, other than to encourage us all to think about the place suffering has in our lives. For there are no detours on the road to true, joy-filled living. Death always precedes resurrection. Our job is to die. HIS job is to raise the dead.

Journey confidently into suffering with the One who raises the dead!

Nick

No, Not Lint...LENT!

2011-03-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

For those of you connected to the East Hills community, you know that we are inviting everyone to observe Lent with us this year. We are hoping to truly focus our lives more on Christ by letting go of things that get in the way. But we are so non-traditional, we're not even starting on the proper date (march 9) but we will begin our Lent practice next weekend (march 19/20). I believe this will be a deeply meaningful time for all of us.

As you prepare yourself for this season (or in case you are a traditionalist and you've already started!), I offer you this prayer by Henri Nouwen to help us focus in:

A Lenten Prayer

The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.

I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.

I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.

Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.

Amen.

Peace and Joy on your journey-
Nick

Extreme Measures

2011-02-23T11:59:00.000-08:00

Early this week, my three-year old daughter Maddie used a four-letter word I never want to hear again. 'Daddy, Mommy says Alyssa has LICE.' Little did I know in that moment the dramatic effect this small word, and creature, would have on my life.

I have never had lice. My perception was that if you get it, you buy some special shampoo, wash your hair, and move on with life. Not so. Evidently lice is a significant problem that can spread like a plague. It's as catchy as a Justin Bieber lyric. We have spent the last 48 hours in a frenzy of washing, vacuuming, shampooing, cleaning, rinsing, and repeating. Over and over and over. Alyssa has spent countless hours sitting at the counter while Michelle diligently combs through ever square millimeter of her head. These days have been grueling.

It's amazing what happens to you when you see pictures of this little critter and read about how easily it can spread. Something inside your head clicks into high gear, because your once safe dwelling place now feels invaded, corrupted, and defiled. Even though we cannot typically see the foe we are fighting, we are taking extreme measures in our home to make sure it is out of our lives for good. Or at least before Maddie contracts it.

This whole experience has me thinking about what the Jewish people used to do in preparation for the Passover. Part of their tradition was to scour their homes, looking for even the smallest trace or crumb of leavened bread. Days of preparation would be spent in painstaking detail, so that when the Passover came, the family could celebrate appropriately. You see, the idea was to be pure and holy for the Passover, and leaven was a picture of sin or unholiness. So as a way of purifying themselves, the Jews also purified their houses. They went to extreme measures to make themselves fit to worship God.

In light of all this, I am reflecting today on our personal attitude towards impurity in our lives. Put more succinctly, I wonder if we take extreme measures with sin anymore. I have been petrified by the thought of even one minuscule lice bug remaining in my home, so I have rearranged my life in order to "be clean." The ironic twist, to me, is that this little bug has little ultimate impact on my physical well-being. I am healthy. I am fit. I am not sick, or weak, or in pain because of lice. But it disgusts me and I want it gone. I wish I had this same disgust for sin. More importantly, I wish you did. Because isn't that the truth- that we would all like others to be really passionate about getting sin out of their lives? We'd like others to take extreme measures to let go of their pride, selfishness, envy, gossip, deceit or anger? The real question, though, is for ourselves. Will we develop an attitude that says, "I will do whatever it takes to make my life clean and pure. I will not put up with any life-stealing bug (sin) for even a moment."

Because you are a house. You are the dwelling place of the living God. And I think His Presence merits our taking the time, taking extreme measures, to keep His house clean. Go get the shampoo of confession. The laundry detergent of God's Word. The vacuum of diligence, perseverance, and discipline. Do whatever it takes- just get the bugs out of your life. His house, your life, is worth extreme measures.

Journeying with you-

Nick

What To Do With Conviction

2011-02-14T12:08:00.000-08:00

Recently, our Crazy Love book study processed a chapter on "lukewarm" faith. This challenging chapter provoked an array of responses, and so I sent this message to our table leaders as a way to encourage and give perspective.

Perhaps if you are in the study, or reading some challenging material on your own, you will find helpful insight in these words:

Hello folks-

I hope your day is going well. I imagine that last night’s discussion around our tables was a real mix of thoughts and emotions. Chapter 4 on lukewarm Christianity was a challenging one, and brought about the full range of emotions from, “Let’s sell it all and give everything to Jesus” to “This doesn’t really apply to us.” I am guessing that for even many of us, we struggled with conviction and frustration as we read. We wondered if we could apply this material, let alone know how to lead a group through it. I have not been reading ahead, so as to go through the experience with all of you. My reaction to chapter 4 was feeling like I need to read this over and over until God has had time to apply it all to my life.

My guess is that Crazy Love will get harder before it gets easier. That it will get more challenging before it gets simpler. With that in mind, I wanted to write and give you some advice and direction for working with your groups. This may get lengthy, but I believe that thinking through these topics will help you in your group. So please take some time to read and consider these ideas.

1. Everyone processes at a different speed. Some will read challenging material and be ready to make immediate change. (We call these early adopters) Others need more time. Or more proof. Or more convincing. (We call these late adopters) Our temptation can be to assume that early adopters are more spiritual, and those that are moving slowly are less spiritual. But this may not be the case. Even when someone expresses a more negative or conservative reaction, we need to see that it may be their way of processing this challenging material. Give them a little space to push back, but continue to encourage and point to Christ.

2. Disagree with Chan, Okay. Disagree with God, not so okay. There will undoubtedly be times in every book where we disagree with the author, their perspective, or their method of application. That’s fine. Francis Chan is human, and as leaders we don’t have to stick up for him. BUT, much of what Chan says is Biblically rooted, with Scripture right there for us to read. Be alert to whether or not someone is disagreeing with Chan or with Scripture (God). When you find they are actually disagreeing with God, then it is appropriate to find gentle ways to direct people to Biblical truth. When they disagree with Chan, let it go. But keep the focus on what God, the Almighty Maker of Heaven and Earth, is calling us to do.

3. Decision-making is best when we own it. In other words, we can’t force people to live more godly lives- it has to come from them. After reading material like chapter 4, especially as leaders, we can want everyone to make similar decisions about entertainment, standards of living, church involvement, etc. It seems so obvious to us! But if we make the choice for them, it won’t last or stick. Our goal as we lead is to keep elevating godly truth and pray that the light will penetrate the darkness- even when the darkness sits in our own souls.

4. Push yourself and the group towards application. This is the kind of material that is easy to talk about, in a sense. We have lots of ideas and lots to share. But the rubber meets the road when we ask questions like, “what are you going to do?” And sometimes we don’t know! But the key is that we stay open and humble to God, realizing that the whole point of this study is to make us more like Jesus. Talking rarely makes me more like Jesus- I have to do something. Make sure you take enough time in your group to let people process what they think they should actually DO. Will it be easy or clear? Rarely- but it is this kind of wrestling that brings transformation.

5. Celebrate any and all success, no matter how small. After chapter 4, we might feel like if we do anything less than sell our homes to go live with the poor, we have come up short. With this attitude, we devalue other significant choices we, and others at our table, might be making. If someone comes back next week and tells a story about giving away $20 they normal wouldn’t (or even $5), GET EXCITED! Realize that God can be just as involved in the small choices as in the big ones, and we want to highlight every step people take towards whole-hearted living. We don’t have to be content to stay there, but we must encourage progress.

These are just a couple of ideas to help you facilitate good conversation. And as the challenging material keeps coming, stay open to what God wants to do. He may not always do it in the way we expect, but I believe He is doing huge things.

May you be willing to sit with tough questions on your journey today-

Nick

Dead German Guys Say It Well

2011-02-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

Ran across this quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer this week. He lived in WWII Germany and was executed by the Nazi's for participating in a plot to assassinate Hitler. And he was a theologian and a pastor! Here's what he had to say...

"There remains, then, only the decision whether we will trust the Bible or not, whether we will allow ourselves to be supported by it as by no other word, in life and death. And I believe that we can only be happy and at peace when we have made that decision."

In my life, this is one place I have to come back to frequently: is it God's word or isn't it? Because if it IS God's word to us, then I had better rearrange my life to do what it says. It all starts with making the decision. Once that first decision is made, to trust the Bible, the other decisions we are faced with in life become much simpler. Not easier! But much more simple.

Thoughts?

May you find happiness and peace today through the Living Word-

Nick

Stars and Band-Aids

2011-01-31T11:45:00.001-08:00

Today, I had another one of those reminders about why I need to read slowly. Especially the Bible.

Psalm 147 is one of those great psalms we like to read at worship services because it talks about how wonderful and awesome God is. But embedded in this psalm are these words:

3 He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
4 He counts the stars and calls them all by name.

If we don't read slowly, we will miss how amazing it is to find these two verses side by side. With the one hand, we have a God of infinite knowledge and power who is counting every star flung throughout the galaxy. With the other hand, God is stooping down on one knee like a gentle mother and putting band-aids on our scraped knee.

I have heard it said that most of our trouble with God stems back to our inability to hold these two contradictory ideas about God together. He is unfathomable greatness. He is uncomfortable nearness. He is mighty beyond words. He is personal beyond reason. He is holy mystery and wholly other.

And somehow today, I am finding great comfort in this mystery. A god that I could understand would quickly become a god that I would control or twist to my own ends. But a star-holding, band-aid wielding Master makes me pause and simply say, "Wow."

May you live today in the tension of a God who is far beyond you. And yet, right here with you. May this tension bring you to a deeper definition of faith; faith in one you cannot ever fully explain. And that's okay.

Journey on-
Nick

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Broadway Stage-hand?

2011-01-06T09:44:00.000-08:00

I sure would! I heard on the radio yesterday on my way to work that the top Broadway stage-hand makes over $400,000. No, that is not a typo for $40,000- the best stage hand makes over four hundred thousand dollars. (They also get a meager $107,000 in deferred payments annually) Wow, that's a nice paying gig. The radio announcer was lamenting that this was just one example of how Broadway unions were controlling the market, driving theater ticket prices through the roof, and creating an unsustainable future. The announcer likened this situation to Social Security and lamented that we as Americans regularly get ourselves into difficult situations because we fail to grasp that we have limits.

This got me thinking about the goodness of limits. God, in his wisdom, created you and I to have a limited capacity. From the very beginning, in the creation of mankind, we had limits. God placed Adam in a garden, defined it's boundaries, gave him a tree that was off limits, defined suitable partners (Eve) and unsuitable ones, among other natural, God-given constraints. Throughout history, we humans get ourselves into trouble when we start believing that we have no limits. And like Spiderman on Broadway, we create a system that is doomed to come crashing down. We mortgage the future to pay for today, and hope that when that future comes someone else will bail us out.

Today I am trying to accept that I have limits, and that this is a good thing. I have a limited amount of time, so I must choose wisely where to spend it. I have a limited amount of money, so I must use discernment in how to spend it. I have a limited amount of energy, so I must expend it in places that truly matter.

How about you? Are you constantly trying to push beyond your limits, or are you accepting that by God's grace He has made us to be people who can only do so much? I believe that as we accept our limited state, we find true freedom to depend on God for all the things that lie beyond our abilities.

May we all know the joy of limits on our journey today-

Nick

He Did It His Way

2010-12-22T14:26:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who just doesn't "get it"? I find this extremely frustrating. So did Jesus.

In Mark 8, a group of Pharisees (ie, really religious people) came up to Jesus and demanded He show them a sign- perform a miracle as a way of proving He was indeed from God. At first glance, this seems rather innocuous, until you note the three stories preceding this one. In them, Jesus has driven out a demon from long distance, healed a deaf/mute by using spittle, and fed 4,000 people with a few dinner roles. I don't know about you, but this seems like a pretty good run of ministry to me.

And yet, here are the high and mighty religious guys asking for a sign. "Um, excuse me," I'm thinking, "are you paying attention here? Have you seen what's going on? Why don't you get it?" Granted, the Pharisees probably hadn't been personally present at any of these miracles, but there was more than enough evidence for them to realize that Jesus was the real deal. But it wasn't good enough for them. Jesus had to do it their way, in their timing. With this as their mindset, the Pharisees missed Jesus altogether.

Sad. Even more sad when I think about how often this is MY experience. I want God to do things a certain way- show up at certain times, fix things a certain way, "prove" himself to me with a certain sign. Rarely, if ever, does God work this way. He is doing his own thing, and if I have the eyes to see it, His ways are far more wonderful and beautiful than my own.

Nowhere do we see the brilliance of God's plan more than in the Christmas story. If it were my way, I would not send a child to change the world. But God's way was to take on human form, become one of us, and proclaim through our humanity, "I am with you." His ways are not my ways, and thank goodness for that. Through Christ, His way continues to change and shape the world today.

"Our God is in the heavens, and He does as HE wishes." (Psalm 115:3) May your eyes be open in this Christmas season in such a way that you can trust this God. He is good, and his plans are good. Celebrate with great joy in Him.

Peace-

Nick

A Grammatical Mistake?

2010-12-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

My devotional thought from tonight's candlelight service...

Saturday Night Devotional

So much of life is never finished- dishes, laundry, garage cleaning, tasks at work- on it goes and we wonder sometime why we bother. It will just need doing again later. At times, it’s more serious than that- we can feel that same about parenting our kids, working on our marriage, or even our faith- prayer, reading the Bible- sometimes we wonder what it will accomplish.

Luke 1:68- there’s something wrong with this verse. It reads, “Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,
because he has visited and redeemed his people.”

The tense is wrong, isn’t it? We would expect it should read “and he WILL redeem His people.”

But instead it says, “redeemed”- past tense. Over and done.The NAS makes it stronger still- “accomplished redemption”- a finished work. In the Greek, it’s the aorist tense- which means a SINGLE action referred to typically in the past.

But Jesus is just a baby. In fact, Jesus is still in the womb of Mary at this point! How has redemption been accomplished?

The coming of the Messiah set in motion a whole new era of God’s Kingdom, and the final outcome of this plan is guaranteed. The old has gone, the new has come! The coming of Jesus represented more than the birth of a single person, but the in-breaking of all God’s promises that would forever change history. It was the beginning of the New Covenant that prophets had pointed to for a thousand years. Zechariah realized that when his son had been born, the whole plan had been set in motion. And because God was behind it, the new covenant era was unstoppable. God was going to finish what He had started.

We are living in that time! It is now! So what is our mindset? Do we still live in the attitude of “one day, he WILL redeem”. Is it just a future hope? NO- he has come and he HAS already redeemed. It’s certain. Live in this certainty! Live in simple trust that in EVERY area of your life, REDEMPTION has been accomplished. It’s done. Because Jesus has come.

Peace, and goodwill towards all, as you journey on...

Nick

Grumbling Causes Blindness

2010-11-30T13:06:00.000-08:00

One of the simple truths in this life is that when we're busy looking at ourselves, we become blind to everyone else, including God. How unfortunate, because usually we are very boring while God is doing great things.

In Mark 6, Jesus does an amazing thing. He walks on water. He defies the laws of nature, which He created, and finds stability where everyone else sinks. As He is cruising past His friends in a boat, they see him and shriek in terror, believing it is a ghost. Jesus calms them with His voice and He climbs into the boat with them. As He does, a ferocious storm that had been raging around them suddenly calms to nothing.

Now here's the real kicker- this is what it says about the disciples reaction, "They were totally amazed for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in." So, Jesus was bringing down the power of heaven all around, and the disciples reaction was basically, "Huh?"

Which got me thinking- remember last week how I said the disciples were tired and worn out when Jesus performed the miraculous feeding of the 5,000? He took a few fish and a few rolls and fed everyone with 12 baskets of leftover food on the ground. If you put the disciples tired condition together with their hard hearts, it leads me to believe that when they were picking up the left-over bread, they were grumbling. They were complaining about the extra work they had to do. Jesus had just done something absolutely amazing, and it is entirely possible that all the disciples could see was the inconvenience it caused them.

So, grumbling can cause blindness. We can get so focused on our needs and what we don't have on a personal level that we miss incredible displays of God's power all around us.

I don't want that. My guess is, neither do you. So pray for a soft heart. And open eyes. Pray hard that when heaven opens and God's power falls, you won't miss it because you're focused only on yourself. Ah, a hard prayer, but a good one.

May you have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts that understand what God is doing around you!

Peace-
Nick

But I'm Tired, Lord...

2010-11-23T13:33:00.001-08:00

Do you ever feel like God might be far less concerned with our comfort than we are?

In chapter 6 of Mark, Jesus' followers have been out on a serious butt-whooping tour; casting out demons and healing the sick. They come back to Jesus and tell them about everything they've done. And ministry goes on. They are so busy healing and helping that same day, they don't have time to even stop and eat. I'll bet a McD's would have come in handy.

Anyway, Jesus recognizes this and says, "Hey, let's get out of here and rest." The disciples must have thought, "Finally- he's thinking about our needs!" So they take off in a boat. Only there's a problem- someone sees them going and spreads the word. By the time Jesus and his weary helpers reach the shore, a whole crowd of people are waiting. If I'm one of the guys who just came back from a long foot-journey of ministry, I'm thinking, "Jesus, send them home!" But instead, Jesus has compassion on them. He starts teaching. And he teaches for a LONG time. Surely, the disciples had to have slipped in a nap here. But the teaching goes on so long that it's well past dinner time; and remember, they have already been too busy to eat.

Understandably, the disciples come to Jesus and complain, "It's late, there's no food here, send the people home." The words of Jesus must have sent their jaws to the ground, "YOU feed them." Us? HA! Jesus, we're tired. There's way too many people (over 5,000), and in case you didn't hear us, there's no food! You feed them. Honestly, I would have been ticked. I might have thrown in the towel right then. I do NOT do well when I am hungry! Or tired. Especially not both.

But Jesus is about to make magic. He sits the people down, takes one small sack lunch (a few fish and loaves) and simply looks up to heaven for blessing. Soon all 5,000+ people are chowing down with plenty to spare. While the disciples wanted Jesus to care about them and their personal well-being, Jesus seems more interested in growing their faith and showing them the power of God.

You know what? I'm not sure I like that. I think most of us would like a God that took care of us first and then did more ministry. But God continually calls us to something more, something higher. When this happens in my own life, I hope I'm not too tired or hungry to see it!

On your journey, may you know the kind of God who is MOST interested in growing your faith and showing you the power of heaven.

Peace-
Nick

Looking in the Right Direction

2010-11-18T16:00:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking this week about how important it is that we focus on the right things. We've been going through the book of Revelation at church, and one of the major themes of this book is that God wants to teach us how to see the world. We learn to see the world accurately by looking at him.

But getting people to look in the right direction can be challenging. Just look at this picture...In case you can't tell, I'm trying desperately to get Carter, my son, to look at the camera. I hope I will also be as desperate to encourage him to look at Jesus.

Peace on your journey-
Nick

Who's to Blame?

2010-11-10T14:44:00.000-08:00

Pain is one event in life that makes many of us question God. As the Author, Creator, Provider of life, we believe that God could, and at times should, keep us from pain. I can think of one instance at least where this is entirely unfair.

On my way through the book of Mark, I have been pondering a story concerning John the Baptist and Herod Antipas, King over Galilee at the time. In this very short story, we see that Herod struggles with some pretty significant life issues- he is a control freak, a sex addict, and very power hungry. I could go into more details, but that's not really the point here. Anyway, Herod often spends time "listening" to John the Baptist talk about God and his plan. But because of Herod's own issues, he is unable, or unwilling to respond to God. In the end, Herod's personal struggles put him in a position where he is forced to have John the Baptist beheaded to satisfy some of his friends.

Now, this event certainly left John's followers and friends wondering "Where is God? How could this happen?" But God is not to blame. Herod is. Clearly, Herod's unwillingness to deal with his own stuff caused incredible pain to others. Where was God? I think he was with John, giving him courage and strength. And I also think he was with Herod, trying to woo him to a new way of life. But God was not the one causing pain.

Here's my point: sometimes we face excruciating pain because of someone's sin. (Although this word may seem archaic to some, it is still an accurate way to describe any action, thought, or motive that is contrary to the heart of God). God does not cause it. God does not want it. God is dying to stop it. (And He did, literally) But in a world where we are free, and I mean really free, others are also free to hurt us.

What does this mean? Well, we might be tempted to think, "Yeah, I sure hope so-and-so reads this and deals with their sin!" But the best thing we can do, the best way we can help our loved ones and friends is to choose to deal with our own stuff. Simply put, if we love others, we will address sin in our lives so that we won't hurt others. Rather than pointing fingers and telling others to stop hurting us, our best move is to look within and say, "God, help me to deal with me."

So, who's to blame? In a word, ME.

Peace on your journey-
Nick

Living in the NOW

2010-11-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

I ran across a quote yesterday that really struck me. It goes like this, “Our culture diverts our attention from the present…its over-extension and compulsive busyness sends us searching for quick ways for life to be better.” How true! We certainly live at a time, perhaps more than any other, when we are led to believe that we can have bigger and better. We can have a better TV or car. A better job. A better spouse. In general, a better life. And, we are told, it is simply up to us to pursue this better life.

The net effect of this kind of thinking, however, is that we can become entirely unsatisfied with today. If something better lies before us, how can we be content with what we have right now? The irony here is that the only day we get to live is today. As promising as tomorrow might sound, our only reality is this day. And yet, because of culture’s promise of the future, many of us are left without any real joy or peace in our current reality.

So what are we to do? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Do you know who penned these words? Not King David or any of his skilled musicians, who spent much of their lives enjoying the fulfillment of God’s promises. No, this Psalm was written by MOSES, a man who spent 40 years in the hot, dry desert while looking forward to the Promised Land. Rather than being overcome by his longing for “what might be”, Moses wanted to see God in his current situation. So what did he do? He PRAISED. He wrote, “Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.” (Ps. 90:14) Moses realized that the key to joy was the daily reality of God and his unfailing love towards him.

The single greatest antidote I know to discontentment with today is choosing to praise God for His goodness and His gifts. Praise causes us to stop and look around at what we do have- both in the physical realm and the spiritual one as well. When we recognize all of God’s tremendous blessings, we can recapture joy for today!

Psalm 103:2-8 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

May you find JOY in the Lord TODAY!

Nick

What is Gospel?

2010-10-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

For most of my life as a follower of Jesus, I have understood gospel to mean, "the good news." While this definition is accurate, I no longer consider it appropriate.

Here's what I mean. When you and I hear the word "news", we tend to think immediately of WORDS. We read "the news" in a paper- column after column of words. We watch "the news" on TV- 30 or 60 minutes of talking heads telling us all about local stories, weather and sports. We ask others to catch us up on "the news"- fully expecting a verbal report of what has gone on in their lives.

Because of all this, it is only natural for us to think of Gospel, the good news, as being a matter of words. We believe in these powerful words about Jesus, what he has done, and what he can do in our hearts. The problem with this, in my mind, is that we have come to put our faith in words- great words, mind you- but nonetheless, still words. These words come in all shapes and sizes- in creeds, worship songs, and even the pages of the Bible.

If you read through the gospel of Mark, you will be surprised at how little Jesus talks. You may also be surprised at how much Jesus does- he goes places, he heals the sick, he raises the dead. What you encounter in Jesus is a Gospel, not of words, but of power. I would argue that the only reason people were listening to His words was because they had seen His power. Jesus came in the power of God to release captives, open the eyes of the blind, and set the oppressed people free. And so people listened to His words. Perhaps this is a big reason why more people aren't listening to the words churches have to say today. We offer words, but not power.

I am just wondering today how often we settle for a Gospel of words. Good words, meaningful words, but often devoid of an expectation that God will show up in power. When Jesus met with his followers for the last time, He was clear with them, "You will receive POWER (not words) when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses."

What does all this mean? I'm not entirely sure. I'm just becoming aware in my own life of how often I settle for words when perhaps God wants me to hunger for his power. By sharing this with you, I hope it will provoke a desire in your own heart to pray, fast, cry out for, and expect more of God's power to be displayed in your life.

May you know the power of the gospel today as you journey with Jesus,

Nick

Things You Don't Have to Teach

2010-10-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

The experience of parenting can be challenging to say the least. As a parent, you enter a seemingly unending journey of teaching your children about all they should and should not do, and how to tell the difference between the two. Pick up your toys. Use your fork. Don’t hit your brother. Don’t run with your fork.

What I find amazing, however, is all of the things I have never had to teach my children. I have never had to teach my daughters to play with dolls. I have never worked with my son to teach him how to make car noises. I have never had to convince my girls to love Barbie movies. Some things just come naturally.

If you survey the book of Acts and look into the life of the early church, you will find something that came naturally to that group. In a word, COMMUNITY. No one ever teaches the believers to gather. None of the disciples have to stand and say, “You know, you really ought to get together.” We find quite the opposite. These believers, apparently of their own free will, are meeting daily, celebrating meals in one another’s home, and even pooling their property in order to share with one another.

So now for the big question: WHY? Why did this group have such a natural inclination to be with one another? I believe that their decision to follow Christ was intricately tied to a decision to be with His people. To love Christ was to love His people. To know Christ was to know one another. To worship Christ was to worship with others who had the same desire.

Though we live in a radically different culture today, we can move in that same direction. Here are a few ideas how:

1. Look for the Spirit. The first church had encountered God in a radical way on the day of Pentecost. I think they gathered together because they experienced more of that Spirit when they were in community. When we celebrate as a church, whether at our weekend service or a special event like a Baptism, we can experience the same thing. Seek out those places where the body of Christ will gather- the Spirit has a way of showing up!

2. Think people before tasks. One of the real traps of our society is that we are taught to think task first. What am I accomplishing? What am I getting done? Sometimes we approach church with the same mentality, “I am going to church. I went to church. Check that off the list.” How different would it be if we consistently thought, “I am going to gather with others who seek God with me.” Suddenly the whole point of our meeting takes on new meaning.

3. Place reality before formality. When we think of church as an organization or a social structure, we begin applying rules to how we should act. Dress a certain way. Say the right words. Act like life is fine, and then go home and be real. As a community of believers, however, the church is a family. And family is a place where you can be real and find acceptance no matter what’s going on in your life. When we can stop “cleaning up” and just be real, we find the kind of community Jesus had in mind from the beginning.

I dream of the day when my kids will be naturally inclined to clean their room. Until then, I will keep training them in the right way. I also dream of a day when each one of us feels naturally inclined to gather regularly in Christ-centered community. Until then, I will keep encouraging people to move in the right direction while modeling a life that does the same. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.

The Box

2010-09-02T10:46:00.001-07:00

Warning: Spoiler Alert...if you are planning to see The Box anytime soon, which I do not recommend, do not read this post as it gives away the whole movie.

Recently, my wife and I sat down to enjoy a movie together called, "The Box." Unfortunately, there was little enjoyment as we followed Cameron Diaz through a bizarre journey where higher alien life forms were conducting an experiment on the human race. The gist of the experiment is that a couple is given a box (by a very strange man with a disfigured face) with a large red button. They are told, push the button and you will receive one million dollars, but someone whom you don't know will die. If you don't push the button, the offer will be made to someone else.

Cameron and her husband have some pressing financial needs and so they push the button, believing the money will assure them of an easy life. And, as they conclude, everyone dies sooner or later, so if someone we don't know pays the price, it's not such a big deal. As you might image, pushing the button is a big deal. Pushing the button only leads them to frustration, pain, and chaos. It does not end well for them!

The one redeeming moment of the whole film comes when the disfigured man is being asked about how the experiment could be stopped. He replies, "Oh, the experiment could quickly come to end. People just have to stop pushing the button. But no one will stop." Faced with a choice for perceived personal gain at someone else's expense, the human race continues to choose for the self.

While I cannot recommend the movie, I do recommend considering how we are faced with this choice on a regular basis in our own lives. We have a button in front of us that we can push called "self". Pushing this button seems to promise an easier, better, and happier life. But just like the movie, this promise is an illusion. If we are honest, we can see that pushing the button of self leads to a great deal of frustration, pain, and chaos in our lives. The very things we thought would help us- doing what made us happy- actually end up destroying us.

This is why Jesus was so adamant about calling people to deny the self and lay down their lives. This is why Paul invited people to consider others as better than self and to throw off our old nature (self) in order to follow Christ. A choice to gratify self at the expense of others will always put us in opposition to what God wants to do in our lives.

So, the button sits before you. The button is red and shiny, full of promise. Don't push it! The easy way out is never easy and it never leads out. It is only when we deny ourselves and follow after Christ in complete surrender that we find life, hope, and true freedom.

Journey in peace today!

Nick

Dare I Ask?

2010-07-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

Why is it that you're not supposed to ask hard questions in church?

One of the themes of our class this week has been how important it is for us to ask and wrestle with tough questions about God and our faith. But, by and large, churches and other religious institutions (i.e. seminaries) have become places where you are expected to toe the line and nod in agreement. If you ask about something that might challenge orthodoxy, you are viewed as weak or a trouble-maker.

Our professor told a story about his first experience in seminary. Having an undergraduate degree in literature, he entered seminary with a different lens. In one of his first Bible classes, he realized that the story of Sampson and Delilah fit ALL of the historical parameters for a fable, and so he asked his professor about this. Rather than addressing the question or even acknowledging the tension, the professor blew him off and encouraged him to pray. This led to a fairly quick exit from seminary for our prof. (He says the second time around was much better.)

Here's the dilemma for me. We believe that God is truth and the source of all ultimate truth. So, when we start to ask really good questions, Christians should believe more than anyone else that this will lead us toward God. And yet most Christians fear that asking hard questions will lead us away from God.

I want to reject this. I want to reject that my faith only makes sense when I blindly follow what I have been taught. I need to believe that I can ask the hardest of questions, and if my motives are good, these questions will draw me deeper into the Father's heart.

So, I ask again: why are churches the last place where you can ask a hard question?

May you know today that faith is not belief in the absence of doubt, but clinging to God in the midst of it.

Peace-
Nick

Prayer as Theology

2010-07-27T18:26:00.000-07:00

Class started today with an interesting statement- "the way that we pray tells us more about our theology than anything else." The central beliefs that we hold about God, both expressed and unexpressed, are most evident in the kind of prayers that we most often pray.

And then we were challenged with this question, "If I pray for a safe trip, am I more likely to be safer?" How we answer this question begins to give us insight into our God-image. I tend to think that if God has ever once in all history answered this prayer (which so many of us pray), then yes, we are more likely to get home safer. But, that tells you more about my math than my picture of God. :-) How would you answer the question?

For many of us, listening to our prayers will reveal how incredibly me-focused we are...God help me...God bless me...God give me a good day, a good test, a trip, etc, etc, etc. Without realizing it, we turn God into a cosmic traffic cop who exists to make our commute better than the world around us. What was suggested in class today was that we use prayer to help us manage the anxiety of our day more than we do to help us know God or come under his authority in our lives. This kind of praying also sets us up for an unhealthy dualism- if my prayer is "answered" and things go well, God is for me. If things go wrong, then God must be against me or angry with something I have done. Our professor told a story about praying as a child for a snowstorm so school would be canceled. The next day, sure enough, the ground was covered and school was axed. But later that day he heard about a family who had died on the roads because of the snow- and he felt responsible!

Here's where the rubber really meets the road: we will worship the God we imagine, and this is the God we introduce to others! How often do we get involved in selling an image of God that will make your life better? If you read between the lines, this is often our appeal to Christ- come to Jesus and your life will get better. Really? Is that really who God is?

So, I ask you- if you pray for a safe trip, are you more likely to arrive home safely? Why?

Let the discussions begin...

Peace,
Nick

I Know God! Uh, Maybe Not...

2010-07-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, it is on to a new week of class and a whole new round of thinking. This week's class is "Self In Community". I invite you to share the journey with me through some posts this week. I have no idea what this class is about- something to do with self and community. When I get the picture, I'll let you know!

We did a thought-provoking exercise in class today. The professor had us make a list of names/images of God used in Scripture. We took at least 15 minutes giving suggestions while one of the students wrote them on the board. Our list easily contained 50 items, and could have included many more. Then, in reflecting on the whole list, we were asked to consider which ONE of these was God. (Hmm- none of them and all of them is the best I could think of) And then we were asked how many of these were metaphors. (Hmm- pretty much all of them!) And finally, the kicker question- How many of these images are YOUR image of God?

Here was the point for me- with a list of over 50 images of God, I have three, maybe four of them that are really central to my way of knowing and approaching God. If I'm honest, I have easily a dozen of these images that I rarely if ever think about, and I have several more that I try NOT to think about when it comes to God. So if my image of God is formed primarily by 3 out of 50 God-images in Scripture, how accurately do I know God? It's not that my image is flawed- but perhaps wildly incomplete. This leads me to a few conclusions:

1. We need to have much more humility when we speak of God. He is far bigger and far greater than we can fit into our concepts of deity. In many ways, it is very freeing to begin worshiping a God that is far greater than I can imagine.

2. We need others to help us see God. I am constantly amazed how different God looks through other people's lens. And yet, how often do I surround myself with people who think just like me? If we want to grow in our knowledge and love of God, we have to willingly seek out Christ-followers who have a different perspective. This can begin to fill out our picture of God.

3. We need to continually be passionate seekers. The moment we think we've cornered the market on God and got him figured out is the moment we need to start over again and realize how little we know. I have been challenged through this seminary experience to read church fathers, men who are revered for their faith, and see how frequently they expressed their inability to know God fully. Somehow, in their confession of ignorance, they were free to continue pursuing a fuller reality of God in their lives.

So, how about you? What images make up your picture of God? Have you ever had an experience where you realized how little you actually knew?

May you know that God is bigger than your imagination, and may this draw you to continue pursuing His glory and splendor-

Nick

Reflections on Church

2010-07-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

Today, we moved beyond looking at the Spirit to considering the church and the sense in which God created the church to be on a mission. I've had so many different ideas for a blog, that I decided to just jot down some of the basic insights I have found challenging and refreshing. Feel free to respond to anything you'd like- I love hearing from you!

1. God's mission in the world is NOT to save people. God's mission is to create a new humanity- the people of God. While it is accurate to say we must all choose Christ, it is not accurate to call our faith personal. The idea of a "personal faith" is not only foreign to Scripture, but to the first 1500 years or so of Christian tradition. To be saved is to be brought into God's family, the church. Only as part of God's people are we able to experience his plan for us.

2. Being the people of God has less do with behavior and more do with relationship. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, the ultimate falling was a loss of relationship with God. As a result of the fall, they gained the knowledge of good and evil. This was not God's intent! God desired a people that lived only on His word; knowledge of God and not knowledge of laws/rules! To become the people of God is to come under the rule of God in our lives by re-establishing relationship with Him through Christ.

3. Salvation is more than a moment. From a Biblical point of view, salvation is the process of coming completely under God's rule and living in His Kingdom. While this process must have a beginning, it will not find completion until we enter heaven. In other words, we should place a little less emphasis on "crossing the line" and a little more emphasis on continuing to place our lives completely under His rule.

4. We gather in community because of our bond as the new humanity; the people of God. “The community is not to be visualized basically in terms of ‘natural’ bonds of gregariousness but in terms of God’s act. Before we say any of these terms we should first think: God’s purpose, his promise, his calling.” (Minear)

5. Following Christ means NOT that Jesus exists for us, but that we exist for Him. We have created a kind of faith that says Jesus is here to make my life better. Sorry, but that's not true! Jesus is here to make you and I into a new kind of people. This will only happen as we re-orient our lives around Him and His word.

6. There are times when the church needs to close the doors. Luther once said, "God doesn't sleep with his bride in public." In other words, there are times when the church needs to gather in intimate fellowship with only the church "membership" (those who are committed to Christ). It is through these times of intimate worship that the church can be formed and strengthened to have something to offer the world. (I think our new worship nights have become a beginning expression of this.)

7. Churches lose sight of love over little things! Did you know that the largest split in church history (catholic and orthodox) occurred over one word- filioque? The word means "of the son" in Latin, I think. Basically, because the Catholics added the word to their creed, the Orthodox church took off. Now, I know that some theologian will explain exactly why that was such a big deal (as we spent a good hour on it in class), but my point is obvious. If we are to be a witness to the world of a new humanity that has been transformed by relationship with God, then we have to get over our pettiness! We need to be on a mission- in our own churches! We need to strive to BE the people of God so that the world can see the Body of Christ. This is the heart of true evangelism.

Well, there ought to be something there for you to chew on! I just summarized two days of theology, so you should thank me. :-) No, seriously, I hope you'll push back on anything here that strikes you as unique.

May you be willing to THINK on your journey today! God gave you a brain- so use it! When we begin to understand faith and church from God's point of view, it really makes sense. You have a reasonable faith- get to know it! Blessings-

Nick

Hi, Hi Birdie

2010-07-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

We had a humorous moment today in class. Yes, humor and theology can go together. We were having a discussion on the role of the Holy Spirit in the Trinity, and our professor was discussing how we find it difficult to communicate with or pray to the Holy Spirit. In his words, "I can talk to Jesus, sure, but I don't know how to talk to a bird!"

If you think about our conceptions or ideas of the Holy Spirit, none of them really invoke a warm, relational feeling. The Bible depicts the Holy Spirit as a dove (bird), fire, wind, breath, or even a ghost. We have a difficult time even imaging the Spirit as a personal being as we do with God the Father or Jesus the Son.

And yet, Jesus himself told his followers that it would be good if he went away, and the reason he gave was that if he went away, the Holy Spirit could come. Think about that- Jesus, who had a real, physical body and was talking face to face with his friends, said the best thing he could do was leave so the Spirit could come. I don't know about you, but that tells me the Holy Spirit is pretty important.

Perhaps you, like I, might confess that you don't really know how to approach the Holy Spirit. How do you picture the Spirit? Is He as central to "God" as the Father and the Son, or have you allowed him to be less than significant in your relationship with God?

I'd love to hear from you. May you experience the fullness of the "shy member" of the Trinity today-

Peace,
Nick

Getting in the Spirit of Things

2010-07-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

To open class today, our professor shared with us some of his theological convictions to set the tone for the class. I really appreciate his openness- most of our profs play it really close to the vest and leave you guessing where they really land theologically.

For our prof, he finds the foolishness of the Cross as the starting place of theology. In his words, we have to embrace that we are basing our entire system of belief on something that world finds foolish. And in this foolish cross, we find the most accurate and complete picture of who God really is. He is a God that loves us so much he has given himself on our behalf. Any theological conclusions we draw must align with this.

In order to know God, we must respond to this foolish cross by following Christ in his death. Rather than a physical execution, we must experiencing a death of our old, sinful self which we call the flesh. As our flesh dies, and only when it dies, we can experience the joy and power of new birth.

And now here's the point he landed on that has me thinking tonight: in light of all this, why do we think we can manage the flesh? My prof stated, and I would agree, that even in our churches we have come to believe that we can clean up our old self and manage our flesh well enough so as to have a good life. This is a false, and misleading, assumption. As the apostle Paul wrote, "For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do." (Gal. 5:17) In other words, if we want to experience the fullness of God in our lives through the presence of the Holy Spirit, then the flesh has to go. We don't manage or clean up our flesh. We let it die on the cross with Jesus and humbly wait for him to bring us to new life- life in the Spirit.

What do you think? How do we know if we're just trying to manage the flesh rather than allow God to kill it on the cross? What does it look like to be brought to new life? I have some ideas, but I'd love to hear yours. I would encourage you to spend a few moments meditating on Galatians 5:16-26. Powerful stuff!

May you know the power, and the foolishness, of the cross on your journey today.
Peace-

Nick

Straining to Hear...Nothing

2010-07-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

In one of the books I am reading for tomorrow's class, the author frequently brings up the value of silence in a church service. (Liturgical Theology, Simon Chan) I had to chuckle a bit when I thought about this, because it seems like at our church everyone starts to get nervous if there is silence for more than 2 seconds! But how can I blame them? I feel the same way! I immediately wonder, "what's going on? Why is no one talking? Am I forgetting something?"

Let's admit it- in general, we are not comfortable with silence. In our iTunes, Zune, Bluetooth world, we don't know what do with it. Silence feels so out of place it is actually deafening. We rush to fill the silence with something, anything that keeps our brains in tune.

As I embark on two weeks of study, I find myself in a unique place. Away from the office, the kids, and all my routines, I am confronted with a great deal of silence. I have already experienced more of it in one night than I can recall in any recent week. (or month) And so, realizing that this silence may be common in the next two weeks, I am trying to give in to it and allow it to have a formative effect in my life.

Have you ever done the science experiment where you stir up sediment in a jar of water? As long as you keep the water agitating, all the particles spin around and the water is cloudy and dark. Only when you allow the water to stop spinning do the pieces of sand and rock begin to filter to the bottom and once again, in silence, the water becomes clear. You can see what before was only a mist. I think this can be the value of silence in our lives. We are so busy that everything spins around and the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives are just one big blur. But in silence, we agree to let everything stop spinning. We wait for it all to sift to the bottom of our heart (or soul) and we can evaluate what belongs and what does not. In silence, we gain clarity.

I think this is why Jesus so often went away by himself to pray. The gospels say that Jesus often sought out solitude. Why would someone who had such a clear sense of purpose in life need any solitude or silence? Because Jesus knew that in silence, God could continue to make clear the next step.

So, for the rest of this month, I am attempting to enjoy silence. This will not be easy for my over-active, fill-up-every-inch brain, but I will try. And Lord willing, I will tell you how it goes!

How about you? What role does silence play in your life? Can you be comfortable in it? If so, tell us how you got there!

Peace on you and your journey-
Nick

One Step Ahead

2010-06-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

(For the next few weeks, I will be in Bosnia. Our team is going to post regular updates on our church blog- http://headlight2.blogspot.com/- but I will also post them here. I will also be posting a few of my own thoughts on occasion, or pictures, so be sure to check back!)

When Jesus said, "Come, follow me!" he was serious.

Too often, we hear this as an invitation to study and learn the historical life of Jesus in order to replicate how He lived. But I get the feeling that Jesus had more in mind. I think He actually wants us to follow Him now- to look ahead, get a sense of where He's going, and set our feet on the same path.

As I prepare for this journey to Bosnia, I can't help but feel that as a church, we are doing just this. From the first days of our partnership with Bosnia, we have sensed God at work. God has been orchestrating and arranging things in a divine way before we even become aware of it. I have had a strong feeling all along the way that He is always one step ahead of us.

And so this trip has at its source real inspiration from God. I have been mindful of this as I undertake the mammoth amount of tasks that go into a costly international expedition. Whenever I have been tempted to think the trip is too much work, or too much money, I remind myself of where God has been in this journey. Always a step ahead. We haven't been praying and asking God to bless our efforts- to join us where we are at. No, we have been asking God to give us the courage to follow Him!

He is leading us to Bosnia. Why? I am not exactly sure. And I'll bet that the first disciples of Jesus had similar feelings. They knew he was calling, they could see where he was leading, but they had no idea what was about to happen to them. It was a risk to follow into such unknowns, but their faith was rewarded as they walked with the King of Kings.

I hope that you, at least in some small way, can feel connected to our trip. It really isn't about us- God is going to use it for far more. We'll find out together exactly what that is!

May you find that on your journey, Jesus is always one step ahead of you. And may you have the courage and the strength to follow Him.

Peace-
Nick

You Can't Have It!

2010-06-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you connected to EHA, you know that we've had a few randomly scheduled worship nights at the church lately. For those of you who've attended, you know how powerful they have been!

Last week, one person came up to the "open mic" and shared something that has stuck with me. She came up and made a declaration that more of us should be making. It went something like this:
"I just want to say to the Devil, "You can't have my marriage. You can't have my child. You can't have my church. We must be on the verge of something good here at this church, and Satan is mad. He's thinking, 'okay, one worship night is a fluke, but they won't come again.' And here we are and he must be mad. We are on the verge of something. And to think, I almost stayed home and watched American Idol. How stupid do I feel!"

I love the fact that this was shared from the heart, and that she had the boldness to declare her marriage, her family, and her church off-limits to the enemy. What would happen if Christ-followers took up the offensive against Satan like this more often? It's sad that we can get caught up in being on the offensive against political or cultural ideals and miss the true source of evil.

So, where do you want to say, "Satan, you can't have it!" Because greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

Are we on the verge of something as a church? I don't know. But if God is putting this kind of Spirit in our people, I know that good things will come from that!

On a journey with you-
Nick

Think Differently

2010-05-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve been pondering a thought lately. Sometimes using a new or different translation of the Bible can make words really jump off the page at you. The other day, I was reading Ephesians 5 in the New Living Translation and I came across this phrase, “Try and find out what pleases the Lord.” In the midst of some wise words on how to avoid being an evil fool (and who wants to be an evil fool, right?) Paul tells his readers that the key is to do this- try and find out what pleases the Lord. The 2nd edition of the NLT gets even better- “carefully determine what please the Lord.”

What I find compelling, or ironic, about this phrase is that I don’t have to “try” at all to find out what please me. I am quite aware of that. From the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed again, I am completely aware of what I find pleasing. I am aware of when I get what I want and find pleasure in life. I am equally adept at knowing exactly what makes me unhappy, or what does NOT please me.

But Paul is telling me to spend time trying to figure out what pleases God. Not that I think it’s a mystery- I mean, after all, the Bible is filled with plenty of good ideas on the topic. But what this passage says to me is that living in a way that pleases God will not come easily. It will take work. Effort. I’ll have to harness the power of my brain (little though it may be) and actually puzzle out what actions will bring joy to God.

It’s a different way to live, if you think about. We are all geared to think about what pleases ourselves. And if we’re honest, if I’m honest, most if not all the trouble in my life can be linked back to these self-driven pursuits.

So, I’m trying to take these words to heart. Give them a try on your journey and see what happens.

Peace-

Nick

Approval Ratings

2010-04-15T13:48:00.001-07:00

We live in a world that is obsessed with approval.

I saw this morning that President Obama's approval numbers are slipping. No doubt his staff is scrambling to do some serious image adjustment in the weeks to come. If you watched the Master's golf tournament last weekend, you know how concerned Tiger Woods was about the reaction of the crowds and whether or not he would get their approval. If only he had been so concerned about keeping his wife's approval! Around the country, high school seniors are waiting for word of approval from their college or university of choice. They are asking the question- am I good enough for you?

In this culture of approval, we can easily transfer this question to God. We wonder- God, do you approve of me? There's a passage in the New Testament where God voices his unqualified approval of Jesus Christ. In Matthew 3, Jesus is baptized by John, and as they are coming up out of the water, God says, "This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy!" What an amazing declaration of God's affirmation towards his son.

What is interesting to note about this scene is how much Jesus had NOT done at this point in his life. As far as we know, Jesus had never preached a single message, never healed a single person, and he didn't have a single follower. It was just Him- a carpenter from Nazareth with nothing on his resume. AND YET, this is the very time when God expresses His approval of Jesus. God approved of Jesus not because of what He had done, but because of who he was. Simply put, God loved and approved of Jesus because he was God's son.

This has tremendous meaning for you and I. You see, the Bible says that when we follow Jesus, we become sons and daughters of God. It also says that Jesus calls us his brothers and sisters. We are so connected to Jesus that what can be said of God's heart towards him can also be said of us! Apart from anything we have (or haven't) ever done, before we accomplish anything of real significance or value, God looks at His children- at us- and says, "This is my son. This is my daughter. I love them dearly, and they bring me great joy."

Have you ever thought of that? You bring God great joy. Not because of how much you can do for Him, but simply because you belong to Him. And when we grasp this truth, it can change the way we live. No longer do we run into the world at a feverish pitch trying to get God to like us and approve of us. He already does. So we can move out intentionally into our world as people who are approved by God Himself. When we know that approval, we truly have something to offer the world around us.

Affirmation always precedes mission.

May you know God's approval on your journey today-

Nick

The Rest of the Story

2010-04-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend at our Easter Service, I shared the story of when I totaled a Montana State Highway Patrol Truck. If you'd like to hear how that happened, you can go and listen to the sermon on our website. It's a pretty good story!

But I had several people ask about how the story ended. So, here goes...

When our car came to a stop, I sat in the silence wondering what to do next. I didn't have to wonder long as I heard people shouting in our direction, "Don't move! Don't move!" I guess our car looked pretty bad and they were concerned about serious injury. One of the ambulances approaching the scene had stopped right near our car and the EMT's jumped out and began peppering me with questions about my name, age, etc. I made the mistake of complaining that my neck felt tight, and I was immediately put in a neck brace and escorted to the waiting ambulance for my first and only ride in one.

My sister had been sleeping in the back seat of the car, but the personnel on hand assumed that she had been thrown into that position. They ended up cutting off the entire roof of our car with jaws of life so that they could carefully lift her out and not further any damage she may have sustained. We were both taken to the hospital where we had multiple x-rays and tests run, which all came back negative. We were fine. We were sore, banged up and bruised, but okay.

Before I left the hospital (we were put up in a local hotel for the night until our parents could come and pick us up), I was informed that the state patrol was charging me with reckless driving. They didn't seem to care that another car had cut in front of me at 45 MPH- which was clearly the cause of the accident in my mind- or that the entire freeway in that section was nothing but black ice. They were more concerned with my speed (72 MPH) and the fact that I had totaled their precious truck. Did I mention that a post from the fence, which the truck went through, had gone up through the floorboard and ruined all the radio equipment? Yeah, they were not happy. About $25,000 in damages on that vehicle. I don't think my parents insurance company was very happy either.

My parents came and picked us up the next morning. They were grateful to have their children alive, and never once did my Dad make me feel guilty about wrecking his car. They were wonderful models of love and care that morning. We drove over together to look at the car- the mangled mess made me feel incredibly blessed to be walking upright that day.

So, minus a nice, reliable car and a few days of recuperation, the only lasting effects of the crash were a lot of memories and one great sermon illustration. Ten days later my sister and I were both in Florida playing for our college basketball teams. Life went on, but every time I reflect on that night, I am grateful for God's provision and care. He protected us, and all of the people standing around the first accident that night. I do not know why sometimes people die and other times they live, but I do know that on that night, God spared us. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.

And so, in the words of Paul Harvey, now you know the rest of the story.

Peace-
Nick

The God Who Risks

2010-02-14T08:54:00.000-08:00

For the past week, I have been taking a class called "Perspectives on Evil and Suffering". The premise of the class was to ask the question, "If God is good and if God is powerful, then why is there so much evil and suffering in the world?" The reasoning behind this question is evident. If God is truly good, then He would want to keep us from experiencing evil and suffering. And if God is powerful, He would have the ability to do what was necessary to keep us from evil and suffering.

But we all know that evil and suffering exist, and not just in a general, non-specific kind of way. We know from very personal, painful experience that our world is filled with evil and suffering. This can cause us, as it has caused many generations before us, to conclude that either God is not good, or God is not powerful.

But what if it is something more? What if God created this world with incredible potential and possibility? And in creating a world that was truly free to choose its destiny, this included the risk that people would choose paths that led not to God, but to evil and suffering. Is this a risk worth taking? When we look at the pain our world has experienced- Hitler, genocide, child prostitution rings, the list could go on- we might ask, "Is it worth it?" Is it worth the risk for God to give us this potential, this freedom? Some might even go so far as to say that it would be better if God had not created at all, rather than to allow His creation to experience such devastating pain.

God's decision to create can be likened to the decision that young parents make to have children. In deciding to have a child, we KNOW that the child will suffer in some way, shape or form in this world. We know that no matter how we guide, guard, and protect, the cruelty of the human race will scar that child. And we also know that the experience of having a child will bring suffering to us- suffering in the pain of labor, suffering in struggle to raise a child, even pain in the pocketbook. And so, in a sense, we willingly bring more suffering into the world. Why? Because we believe that life, with all of its risks, is always preferable to the alternative.

When God created this world, He took a huge risk in making it free to choose for or against Him, knowing the pain and suffering that could result. Yet God took the risk because He believed, because He knew, that life filled with risk was better than no life at all. And so, God gives you freedom to choose Him, or not. He gives you a world that is filled with the possibilities of extreme pain and loss. But in this world of possibility, there is also beauty, grace and love. And when we find these, we find our way back to God.

No matter what you are walking through in this season of life, I pray that you know God's heart for you. That God believed life, your life, was worth the risk. And now He waits and hopes that in complete freedom, you will choose Him, the author and perfecter of our faith.

May you know Him on your journey today,
Nick

Knowing Why Is Never Enough

2010-02-12T08:51:00.000-08:00

In class this week, we have dealt extensively with some of the classic responses to evil and suffering in our world. No one can deny that we face a wide of variety of trouble and pain in this world; it is the universal experience. Because we all experience a level of suffering and because we are all affected by evil in some way, we find ourselves asking the big question: WHY? Why am I in pain? Why did this happen? Why did God not do something?

Historical Christianity has offered two basic solutions that can be broadly categorized as the Arminian response and the Calvinistic response. From the Arminian view, evil and suffering come as a result of people who have complete free-will to do evil and inflict suffering on others. The universe itself operates, in a sense, “freely” as storms, earthquakes, and tsunamis occur according to natural laws. In this case, evil and suffering are due to a lack of God’s presence. From the Calvinist perspective, God has pre-ordained the events of this life. What happens to us, whether at the hands of others or as part of the natural order, come from the hand of God. He has in mind a greater good, and all things will work together for good. In this case, evil and suffering are from God, but for our good.

So, when people suffer, one of these broad systems is typically brought in to help explain why the person is experiencing their pain or trial. What I have found, however, is that knowing why, having an answer as to why we suffer, rarely helps alleviate any of the pain. Both systems have holes that leave us unsatisfied with the answer.

What is really needed in the midst of our pain and suffering is to know where is God when I suffer? Or put another way, how does God feel about suffering? And for me, this is the real beauty of the Bible. While the Bible provides only scant evidence about the source of evil and suffering, it offers extensive and conclusive answers to the question of how God feels about our suffering. The power of the Bible is in the revelation that God himself came, not only to suffer with us, but more importantly to suffer for us. Jesus Christ came as the full expression and revelation of God. And what did He do? He suffered and He died in order to proclaim to us how God feels about our suffering. When we look to the cross, we should see not only an incredible sacrifice, but the true heart of God; a God who loves us so much that He entered into our world to become like us. And like us, he experienced pain and suffering, but to the utmost degree.

So, if you, or someone you know, is experiencing pain or suffering, I want you to know that it’s okay to ask why. But in the asking, keep in mind that something greater is waiting to be discovered than an answer. What I pray you will discover is the One who came to be The Answer. In knowing Him, and experiencing his partnership with us in pain, we can find our way forward.

May you know The Answer on your journey today.

Peace,

Nick

One Manly Super Bowl

2010-02-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

Did anyone else notice the disproportionately large number of Super Bowl commercials having to do with men becoming "real men"? The free pants ad was creative, if not a little disturbing to see so many guys in their underwear. But that was only the beginning. Soon, we had men needing to buy cars to reclaim their throne. And then, the ultimate show of your manhood was to buy soap for men, made ironically by a very non-manly company "Dove". Clearly, our culture is wrestling with what it means for a man to be a man. I say clearly because advertisers don't spend millions on Super Bowl commercials to be cute- they want business. So, the marketers to the masses tell us that what men really want is to know how to be manly.

Now, I'm not disagreeing with these ad captains. We certainly live at a time where gender identity and gender roles have been thrown into utter confusion, leaving men, and women for that matter, asking themselves "whom am I really?" So I agree with the need to define what it is to be a man (and what it is to be a woman, though I feel less compelled or qualified to speak on that half). My concern is that we not allow Hollywood or 5th avenue to define this for us.

In Ephesians, Paul speaks to the gender issue by sounding a clear call to men and women. Granted, this passage is specifically addressed to married couples, but I think his words give insight to all men and women, married or single. Paul writes, "And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her." In other words, the very same love that Christ showed the church (us) on the cross is the love we are to express to our wives. It's the way we are to live as men.

So, being a real man won't happen because we buy a new car, put on the pants, or even use the right soap. Do you want to be a real man, from God's point of view? Then be the first to die. Do you want to be a real man of honor in your marriage and your family? Be the first to sacrifice. Do you want respect as a real man in your workplace? Be the one who leads by serving. Die to yourself, sacrifice your self-rights, serve others before yourself. None of these acts will mean much to Hollywood or 5th avenue, but they will make all the difference in the world. Because when people see men behaving like this, they are bound to ask questions!

So get the car, wear the pants, use the soap. But in the end, the way to manhood in God's eyes is to become like Jesus, and give your life away. There is no more honorable, no more manly way to live.

Be a man! (or a woman). And enjoy the journey.

Nick

On LAX, Sick Pilots, and Ugly People

2010-02-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting experience on my way to classes in Minneapolis. My connecting flight went through Los Angeles and was scheduled to depart at 12:00 AM. As I arrived at the gate area, I was informed that our flight had been delayed. "Delayed" was actually a nice way of saying canceled, because our flight out wasn't until 8:30 AM. Yikes.

The reason I and my fellow passengers were given for this "delay" was that the pilot had called in sick. In all the times I have flown, I have never heard of a flight being canceled for this reason. In a city the size of LA, I found it hard to believe that Delta, the nations largest airline, didn't have another pilot available. Evidently, my fellow passengers felt the same way. Sure, I was upset and disappointed myself, but being in the back of the room I had the unique opportunity to observe the reactions of others.

In a word, I would describe their reaction as ugly, in all its forms. They turned ugly in attitude, but in other ways as well. The pitch of their voice became ugly, taking on that strained, agitated tone. The lines of their faces tightened and their features distorted. A group of normal, nice people suddenly became vicious and well, ugly. The airline had wronged them, their night and their flight was ruined, and so the poor gals at the airline desk received the venting of their fury.

It made me think about how often we react this way as humans. When something goes against us, or we feel wronged, we turn ugly. I'm not entirely sure why, because if we look at these situations, rarely if ever does this kind of response make the situation better. We think that by getting angry and lashing out we can change things for the better. We operate under an illusion of control whereby we can right the wrongs and vindicate ourselves. But does this ever happen? Doesn't a turn towards ugly always make for more ugliness?

On my eventual flight out the next morning, I listened while one gal, one who had been particularly irate towards the gals at the flight counter, recounted on her cell phone the horrors of her night- canceled flight, demanding that the airline bring her bag to her in the middle of night, finding a hotel, getting stuck at the hotel the next morning- evidently her ugliness had continued. Granted, I hadn't particularly enjoyed my night on the floor at LAX, but having accepted the circumstance as one beyond my control had allowed me to maintain a certain level of peace despite the long night.

All this causes me to reflect on what Paul says in the book of Colossians, "You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony." (3:13,14- NLT) When we react like this to the mistakes of others- sick pilots, irkesome co-workers, surely spouses- rather than turning to ugly, we can display the love and the acceptance of Christ.

Why in our world is it so difficult to make allowances for other's faults? We know our own, but when we see the faults of others, we lash out.

Don't do it. Please. It makes you, and me, look very ugly.

Be beautiful today. In Christ,

Nick