I have a favor to ask today. As many of you know, over 2+ years ago, I reached a real crisis point in my struggle with pornography. It was undermining everything I valued and destroying my marriage. On February 16, 2010, God met me in a unique way and began a process of healing in my life that continues to this day. At that time, I wrote a poem for my wife that expressed the emotions I was feeling, and communicated a vision of what needed to happen.
Here is that poem. What I would like to know is: should the poem go in the book? Is it "publishable"?
Please vote in the comments below! Thanks-
My Beauty and My Beast
One day my beauty and I went out
And
spread a blanket beneath the trees
Our minds were set upon one task
To spend the day in
love’s blissful ease
My beauty laid her head upon my arm
And
rested in peaceful security there.
I gazed deeply into her loving eyes
As
I gently stroked her golden hair.
But our idyllic scene was broken by
The
sudden shaking of a bush so near
Bursting out from behind this leaf
Came
a beast to inspire great fear
My beauty cowered in my shadow
Fearing
the worst to come
But in bravado I comforted her,
“Don’t
worry, I know this one.”
For indeed, this lustful animal was mine,
Who
tracked with me day and night
“I can handle him, so be at peace
There’s
no reason for such fright.”
So over I went to reason
With
our uninvited guest
I conjured and cajoled with him
Till
he went away to rest.
I returned to my beauty’s side
There
in our peaceful glade
Unaware that on her chest
A
deep cut my beast had made
For time on end, this scene
Predictably
played over and over
Each time inflicting a deeper wound
Near
the heart of my true lover
But blind I was to the pain it caused
Until
at last she began to weep
“I’m perishing” she cried,
“At
the cruel hands of your beast.”
And there she wilted in my arms
Alas
her strength was spent
I cried out in anguish to the Heavens
My
own heart was finally rent.
And then the gracious One
Who
is wise beyond all measure
Came unseen and laid a sword
Silently
there upon the heather
I grasped it firm and strode
To
where my beast must again appear
And when he did I boldly cried,
“Beast
your end is near!”
How cunningly he softly sang
That
it didn’t have to be this way
Just let him be, he begged of me,
And
promised to stay at bay
But with one more glance at the wounds of my
beauty
I
knew that I could delay no more
I plunged the sword deep into the heart of
my beast
And
pierced him to the core.
In agony and screams of death,
My
beast crumpled at my feet
As at that moment a voice began to sing
Gently,
softly, perfectly and sweet
It was freedom’s song finally loosed
From
chains within my heart
I lifted up my voice in chorus,
Singing,
My God, how great thou art.
And back I turned to my beauty there,
Still
lying at death’s door
I held her tight and looked to Heaven
Pleading
for mercy once more.
Then in astonishment I watched the wounds
Which
had covered her gracious form
Begin to fade and disappear
And
her skin began to warm
Her eyes she opened in new found love
Gazing
up at me
“Is he gone?” she asked
“Can
we finally be free?”
“Forever, my beauty” I said to her
“The
battle at last is won.
You and I shall ever be
Joyful
dancers beneath a clear sun.”
One day my beauty and I went out
And
spread a blanket beneath the trees
And at last we knew that we were free
To spend the day in
love’s blissful ease
(NJS, February
18, 2010)
16 comments:
Made me cry... but I am pregnant, so that might be a bad judge.
I vote yes...
Made me cry, and I'm not pregnant! God really blessed you with some beautiful imagery with your struggle, conviction, and freedom. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece of work. I think it will only bless if it's shared further. :)
-Cherise
Beautiful, poignant and extremely relevant. Definitely publishable!
Yes!!! I hope you don't mind that I'm passing this on.
Sure- if it can encourage others, great! Just be kind enough to credit me. I'd hate to see Max Lucado tweet it for a million hits. :-)
I didn't know you were writing a book and were pursuing publication! Are you looking for "editing" feedback? As in looking at rhyming, structure, etc.? Or are you looking for "does a poem like this work to be included in a book?" As part of a book this works wonderfully as it is something you wrote back then. I am guessing you are writing a memoir? So in that case this really fits well, especially if you include any other journal entries. Personal, honest and raw pieces tend to bring "realness" to memoirs (in my opinion" so I say yes!
Blessed that you shared such an intimate poem....absolutely should be int he book.
The depth of the expression conveys so much. This brings clarity to the changes so observable in both of you. Praise God for His transforming Grace. Please DO share this in your book.
I think it conveys the struggle you were going through and your blindness to the struggle Michelle was going though. Also, being written in 2010 it conveys what you were thinking at the time in words you used at the time and therefore is helpful to the message you want to convey. So, yes it should be included.
Nick, YES this should go in your book. It is publishable and readable by many for it will touch many hearts at the core. Thank you for sharing God's work in your life. All praise to Him!
As I first was reading I thought "naw", but when I got to the end, I would like to see it included, if you have a place to fit it in, not just to have it because it is a good poem.
Nick,
Does it fit with your story and intended audience?
Is the conclusion that the beast is dead truth or does it mean that now you and Michelle have a means of battling the beast together? In other words, does it fit the context of your message?
You are covered in our prayers and support you fully.
God Bless,
Jim
This definitely has a much happier ending than the story Lewis told in "The Great Divorce" about the man whose beast kept him from the bliss enjoyed by his bride. Plus yours rhymes! Thanks for taking the time to share this bro. I'm enjoying your blog - Tony
Fantastic job capturing the nature of the beast!
Definitely a must in the book :)
I would keep it as something between you & your wife. It was written for her, but if she warns it in the book then it s definitely worth putting in.
I am reading you from the other side of the mountains, on the other coast of this USA. The struggle is real and the wounds are too real. Publish it.
It will be a monument the loving powerful work God does to restore and heal. If you and your beauty are truly healed, this is pure GOLD.
-Krist
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